aguywholikestovideogames

Member 607

Level 33.17

Mar 2006

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Nov 22, 2007, 11:07 AM
Local time: Nov 22, 2007, 10:07 AM
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#1 of 11
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I think neus hit a few nails on some heads, but i enjoyed it more than he did apperantly. I read it as a story that wasn't done yet. Clearly there are huge holes in your plot, and character development.
The story needs to be lengthened, and possibly novelized. Keep up the writing, but hopefully you don't have any reason to restrict yourself anymore. Write longer stories, you're style needs it.
Jam it back in, in the dark.
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