Sep 25, 2013, 08:41 PM
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As GFF's one and only Ouya owner, I eagerly booted up my console, happy that the killer app I'd been dreaming about had finally arrived. Slowly I watched as the Ouya downloaded and installed an update. Seconds turned into minutes, which felt like hours, my anticipation growing by the moment. Sure, I've played games with lava, and I've played games with cats, but combining the two? Why has this never been done before? It's like if the peanut butter and jelly sandwich hadn't been invented until 2013, or like eating Kansas City BBQ in Memphis.
Just when I thought my heart couldn't take it anymore, my Ouya finally rebooted, and I rushed into the search menu. What do you mean there are no results for "lava"? No, Ouya, I don't want to play Crazy Cat Lady, I want LavaCat! Oh no, I've been mislead! No, Virginia, there is no Santa Claus, and no LavaCat on Ouya.
Tonight the creators of Ouya will have another suicide on their consciences.
Jam it back in, in the dark.
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