The "Line"

I married my cousin, although he's not a close cousin, and it's not as big a deal as people make it out to be. It's very common in many cultures to marry a relative.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but here's my "line": I wouldn't date anyone of another race or religion. There are just too many cultural differences, and marriage is hard enough without all the disagreements that would arise as a result of being raised in such different environments.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

It's legal in every state in the US, and my cousin is hot, too. =p

In my state (North Carolina), you can't marry a "double first cousin" (siblings from one family marry siblings from another family and have children - their children are double first cousins). Anything farther apart than that gets a green light.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

As soon as I saw that you had posted here, I knew that's what you had said.

*Yawn* So predictably wrong.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I can only assume you're joking.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

No, there are exceptions to everything. But what are the odds that I'd have ended up with someone of another race who had been brought up in a "white" environment? Ditto with religion and I'm not taking any chances. That's why I'd never cross that line.

Anyway, I'm married so it's a moot point. I'm just saying I wouldn't want to get serious with someone whose beliefs were vastly different from mine.

How ya doing, buddy?

I can accept and identify with people outside my cultural background just fine. I adore learning about people who are different than me, and I'm fascinated with other cultures. Also, I don't happen to think that my culture and background is more "right" than anyone else's. That doesn't mean I want to be married to someone with whom there will be constant differences of opinion on the most trivial of matters because of different upbringings.

I like how you're trying to twist what I've said into something racist. It's not surprising that you would do that, but it's pretty disappointing.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Because there would be fewer differences between two people who were raised in similar environments.

Oh, and...

Quote:

Either your area is horribly segregated, or you’re butter up blatant discrimination.

Quote:

You see, this statement alone is what let me knew that your experiences with multiculturalism has probably been limited/segregated.

Quote:

Some people/families actually have more independent thinking. They can not only identify with people outside of their alleged culture, but accept and embrace aspects of others.

You're actually going to tell me that you weren't trying to put a racist slant on what I was saying?

FELIPE NO

SMX, you are either incredibly naïve or stupid if you believe there aren't vastly more differences between people raised in different cultures/religions/races than between people of the same cuture/religion/race.

I can't even believe I'm debating this with you. I can tell you with absolute certainty that you are the most idealistic person I've ever dealt with if you really believe that PC tripe.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I wouldn't have a problem kissing them, RAB. I'd probably even let them get to third base. =p

You guys are missing my point, though. In all seriousness, I just think that a person should really consider the big picture when they become involved with someone.

I posted the same thing in a religion thread once. Marriage is hard enough without having to debate the little things. Let's just say I married a Jewish guy. Now, if he happened to not be very devout, things would go more smoothly, of course. But if he was really into his faith, there would constantly be issues about how and when and WHO we worship, what we eat for dinner, etc. Those kinds of differences are perfectly acceptable between friends, but in a marriage - NO WAY. If you guys want to deal with that, fine. I'm in no position to tell you how to live your lives. I just happen to prefer eliminating the possibility that I won't have a partner who goes to church with me.

Is that so wrong?

I think it's sad that people think they have the right to tell others what they should permit in their own personal lives. If I want to avoid spending the rest of my life with a person who believes that we should bow down to Allah every morning and evening, who are any of you to tell me that's wrong? I'm entitled to my preferences the same as anyone else. And once again, it's not that I think I'm better IN ANY WAY.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

So you think there aren't some pretty major cultural differences between races?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I actually have been very attracted to quite a few black guys. But I've never dated one because I've always feared getting serious with one (for reasons already mentioned), and decided it was smarter to just stay within my comfort zone. As far as the bi-racial thing, I really can't say. It would depend A LOT on his family, actually.

I also find hispanic men to be extremely hot, by the way. Really, the only racial group that I just plain do not find attractive as a general rule is asians. For God's sake, people, please don't take offense to that. Everyone has preferences.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by of pom

So can you answer my thing about why loving a person is somehow less important than being able to go inside a room on sunday for a couple of hours?

Originally Posted by of pom

Please?

*sigh* I really wanted to stay out of this thread, in case you hadn't noticed. I'm not getting anywhere and neither is anyone else.

I never said that loving a person is less important than being able to go inside a room for a couple of hours, pom. I used...whatever it was I said...as an illustration. I just wanted the people who I felt were labeling me as racist to understand that I don't think I'm any better than any other group of people, and that in fact I found some of them quite attractive (except asians...sorry).

I guess I didn't do a very good job, though. I was trying to explain that even though I like them just fine, I wouldn't get into a situation to begin with that might lead to me falling in love with someone who - chances are - I don't have much in common with. I probably wouldn't go out with someone from another race or religion in the first place, much less get a room with them, because relationships start out with that one first date.

I feel like I'm stirring the pot here, and I don't want that. The bottom line is, I chose not to even CHANCE getting involved with someone who would likely have very a different, possibly very incompatible lifestyle from mine. I really don't see what the big deal is, anyway. It's not like we're removing a potential mate for someone from the pool of candidates or anything, since I'm already married.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Gee thanks, SS. =/

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Spike

The first thing I thought of when reading this was "West Virginia, Virginia, or one of the Carolinas." Boy was I correct. You guys are fucked up down there.

Oddly enough, we say the same thing about people from California.

How ya doing, buddy?

I haven't actually put that much thought into it, to tell you the truth. I'm just going to be completely honest and admit that I probably wouldn't go out with them in the first place, just to be on the safe side.

Side Note: I find it interesting that people can use derrogatory terms like "mixed breeds" and that's hunky-dory, but it's not OK that not everyone wants to date outside their race. Hmmm...

To Spike: Yeah, it was your post history.

How ya doing, buddy?

See, this is where the distinction lies. I would have NO PROBLEM if my kids brought home a Muslim, a Jew, a black person, a Cherokee Indian...whatever. It may come as a huge shock to you, but I don't judge people by their race or religion, I simply chose in my own personal life to marry someone within my own ethnic and religious group.

I am in no way "advising" anyone to stay within their racial group, Sass. I'm just saying that for me personally, that's where my comfort level is. Having been married for many years, I realize that the fewer things you disagree on, especially with the "biggies" like religious practices, the more likely two people are to have a harmonious relationship.

If my children are comfortable sharing their lives with someone who has different religious beliefs, celebrates different holidays, has different values, etc., that's great and I have no problem with it. I just chose to avoid those kinds of conflicts in my marriage by sticking with people who I knew shared my beliefs.

And as I said before, I have zero problem befriending people with different religious and cultural beliefs...I just happened to have made a conscious decision not to marry someone like that.

I still don't see how this is a bad thing. =/

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Being friends with someone and sharing every aspect of your life with them are two different things, Ulysses. And I never said they were unfit to be married to someone like me. That's exactly what I DON'T want people to think, which is why I'm still hanging around defending myself.

Look, here's a comparison. Doctors recommend that people over the age of 40 not have children because of the risk of Down's Syndrome. Now, people over the age of 40 have perfectly normal children all the time, but that doesn't mean there isn't a more significant risk. I would personally choose not to have a child at my age because of that risk. I look at this issue the same way. Of course, not every black man sells drugs and owns a car that cost twice as much as his house and not every Jewish guy steers clear of shrimp and Christmas trees, but the risks are higher. I just chose not to chance it.

Jam it back in, in the dark.