eHarmony.

Originally Posted by Encephalon

I may not be the wisest man on the planet, but I'm still under the belief that this things called "chemistry" between people is not something I want to chalk up to a matching system.

Matching systems were made for printing presses, not relationships. :\

I don't know...there's a lot to be said for compatibility. Some people place a higher importance on compatibility than they do chemistry. I guess it really depends on the type of person you are. Are you looking for someone you're going to get along well with, someone who's interested in the same things as you, whose personality type meshes well with yours?

OR

Is it more important to you to be with someone with whom you have that "spark" of chemistry, who you may or may not be all that compatible with?

Because you do realize that the chances of getting matched up with someone you "click" with physically are slim to none, right? I mean, what are the odds? That sort of thing rarely happens meeting people in person; I shudder to think how much more rare it is when two people are matched up by a computer.

So I say, it really depends on what you're looking for.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

what's going to happen is she's going to answer and then ask me 5 of 40 multiple-choice questions, then we'll send each other our "Must Have's and Can't Stand's" (10 things that you'd most want and not want in a partner), then we'll pick another 5 questions for each other, then we'll get down to e-mails.

What's to stop you (or her) from seeing things they do on someone's "can't stand" list or things they don't do on someone's "must have" list and lying about it? I hope you haven't seen pictures of each other at this point in the process, because if someone was gorgeous, everyone would probably lie in order to get to meet that person.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

OK, say she sends you her "can't stand" list, and on it you see "doesn"t like spicy food". You HATE spicy food, but you're so anxious to meet her that you lie and say that you love spicy food. What's to stop you from doing that?

Was that worded better?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

OK, whatever. Same principle. What's to stop you from lying once you see her lists?

Lordy. If I had know I was going to be pulling teeth like this I would have gotten my dental license.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

Because you send your lists simultaneously.

Why the fuck would I want to lie? I'm not that desperate (lies; I'm using eHarmony FFS), especially not to meet someone on the other side of the continent.

Jesus Christ, you're thick.

I'm not saying YOU would lie. I'm asking how you know she's not lying. How does anyone who uses eharmony know that anyone else isn't lying?

I guess what I'm getting at is that even though you send your lists simultaneously, that doesn't guarantee that someone will be honest. You (and I mean "you" as in "anyone who uses eharmony") could get her (and I mean "her" as in "anyone who uses eharmony") list of must haves and can't stands and realize that you two are never going to hit it off, but decide to be dishonest and not admit that out of desperation or whatever.

It just doesn't seem all that fool-proof to me, but maybe I'm missing something.

I was speaking idiomatically.

See, I didn't know there were direct questions to each other involved. That screws up everything. I thought you just filled out this super-in-depth personality profile that covered pretty much every imaginable aspect of a person (their personality, appearance, likes and dislikes, ect.) and you were matched up with a suitable person based on that.

Knowing that there's a potential for others to lie and just say what they know the other person wants to hear, what's the advantage of meeting someone like this?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Minion

It's not like you're legally married if you get matched with someone. You meet and find out what they're like, just like any other date. Why wouldn't you want to start things off knowing you have at least something in common with the person?

That really is true. I'd just be concerned about the "click," (which has little - if anything - to do with looks). But like I said, some people place a high importance on that, and some would rather be compatible and couldn't care less about chemistry. I think something like eharmony would work great for someone like that. For people like me and Enceph, the chances of finding someone through a computer are pretty much nil.

FELIPE NO

Well, then. Problem solved, Skexis. Looks like GFF is working out better for you than eharmony did!

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Monkey King

It sounds like they're getting fat off the hopes of the desperate, to me. There's nothing wrong with meeting people on the internet in and of itself, but paying $110 for an online matching service is the very definition of desperate. And I'm sorry, but desperate people tend not to be the most ideal mates. It'd be fun to try for a lark were it free, but that's just a borderline scam, considering you're essentially throwing a hail Mary pass.

Listen, all joking aside and I truly don't mean this in a mean way AT ALL, but if you're "desperate" (Monkey, I'm assuming by "desperate" you mean someone who has basically given up all hope on meeting someone in person) you want someone else who's desperate, too. It seems like online dating services would be great for people who a) aren't "shallow" and don't care about physical attributes or chemistry - and there are people like this; and b) for whatever reason have given up hope of finding someone by meeting them in person.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Well, I think the point is that you would meet them eventually, peeack. You know, like Kip and LaFawnduh.

How ya doing, buddy?

Then there is no hope for you. ;_;

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Smoodle

It's no wonder why LeHah has such bad luck with girls.

At least he's had some kind of luck, though. That's more than some of you can say.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by xanth

3rd girl I never even met in person, because after I sent her a picture she asked me if I had ever thought about completely shaving off my eyebrows. When I said "no, why?" she suddenly got evasive and blocked me.

Are you sure she wanted you to shave them off completely? Because that's messed up. Could it be that you have a unibrow and she thought she might be attracted to you if only you did something about it?

I was speaking idiomatically.

BECAUSE THE UNKNOWN MIGHT SAY NO.

I agree with you, peeack. The ride is the most thrilling part! I wouldn't have missed out on that for anything. But then again, not everyone is a thrill-seeker, you know.

EDIT: Dang it Sass, you beat me to it!

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But isn't it easier getting rejected over the internet versus in person?

FELIPE NO

Hey wait a minute, Sass. Didn't you and Pang meet over the internet? Also, I have every confidence that you would have found the right person for you regardless - and probably in person - but for some people it's just not that easy. I don't know Pang, but from what I've gathered, I'd guess that he'd have a much harder time finding someone in person than you would.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Minion

Oh, I've been rejected enough, thanks. And I've had relationships with people I've met by chance. All you lose is the awkward "does she like me" stage, which you all seem to love, but speaking personally, I could do without.

I think you just nailed it. Some people would call it the exciting "does she like me" stage, but you see it as awkward. eharmony is perfect for people who aren't interested in the thrill of things.

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Originally Posted by Sassafrass

You're just given people that you're most likely to have chemistry with. Which in my book is ultimate cheating.

I totally disagree with you there. You're given people that you're COMPATIBLE with, which is an entirely different thing than chemistry. I'd bet my left arm that the percentage of people who actually experience chemistry with a person they meet on eharmony is less than 1%. I mean, that's hard enough to find meeting someone in person. Compatibility? Things in common? Sure. But chemistry? No way.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Quote:

It's more than just activities. They ask you a bunch of questions about your personality. Is there something else that's necessary to secure your perfect mate?

It depends on who you're asking. To me, chemistry boils down to purely animalistic sexual attraction to a person. I've dated a ton of guys who I seemed to be very compatible with, but nothing "clicked" physically or sexually or whatever it is. I can't even articulate it, to be honest. But it's something that's either there or it's not, and I can't live without it. Also, it rarely happens (to me, anyway).

Some people can, though, so I'm not knocking you.

How ya doing, buddy?

Minion, it might be, because I think it has very little to do with a person's looks, as evidenced by the fact that the guys I've dated who wouldn't be considered conventionally attractive are often the ones I've been the most sexually attracted to. I've often wondered if it's a smell. It could definitely be a personality trait, although if it is, I've yet to put my finger on it.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

No, that's comfort. Not chemistry. Two COMPLETELY different things.

I was speaking idiomatically.

What he means is that he thinks women secretly prefer the obnoxious, rude types, but they veil it behind the "I like confident men" statement.

Which is retarded.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by SMX

This would be true except for the fact that some people actually have a much easier time expressing the ideas in their head through written communication rather than verbal. While you do lose other subtle communication, like body language, you gain a person being able to take the time and more precisely communicate whatever they want.

And that's fine if you plan on living your life through a computer, but sooner or later if a relationship is going to progress, you're going to have to meet this person in real life that you've won over with your dazzling internet wit, charm and confidence. And then what?

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by SMX

Just because a person is better at expressing their ideas through written communication doesn't mean they can't express their ideas verbally.

Of course, but here's what sometimes happens. You think you know a person because you've talked to them for weeks or months or even years, and then when you meet them they're a completely different person. It happens.

To me, if you're a completely different person online than you are face-to-face, you're a liar.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Originally Posted by Minion

I wouldn't call people who are different online lairs. The internet is just a different medium for communication. Of course people are going to seem different. Some people make use of the ability to think before they say something. You don't really get that much in real life.

So it would be OK for someone to present themselves as something that in real life they clearly ARE NOT? Which is more real, Minion? Online communication and relationships or REAL ones?

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