tl;dr

Dude, you need to jump in with both feet. Stop analyzing everything to death and just DO SOMETHING!

And also, what's up with your unnatural fear of drinking? Having one drink isn't going to kill you or even get you drunk, and goodness knows you sound like you could use some loosening up. Good lord, if you're like this in person it's no wonder you're socially deprived. CHILL OUT, friend. Have a drink and some fun and stop worrying so much!

Sheesh.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Try a beer. There's not a lot of alcohol in most beers. Better yet, have a drink at home a couple of times first and experiment with different things until you find something you like.

Of course you don't want to have to drink to have fun, but your completely unnatural aversion to drinking might freak people out. It would me.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The thing is, all this advice we're giving him (which is pretty much all the same) sounds so cliche. But it's actually really good advice.

You shouldn't go through life over-thinking everything. Just...live. Sometimes you'll make the wrong decisions and you'll get yourself in a mess. That's part of life. But that's better by a long shot than just sitting around analyzing every little thing to death while life passes you by.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Minion is right. Stay away from Budweiser of any variety. Yeungling is pretty good beer (although not as tasty as Newcastle Ale), but if you're a total wuss and can't stand the taste of alchohol at all, try some of the Puckers, which are really easy to drink straight.



They come in probably ten different flavors, and they actually taste good.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Point taken.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Oh, there are definite chick drinks, my friend.

We're trying to help this guy, not turn him into a fag.

I'm not entirely sure that drinking straight Pucker is girly, but drinking anything that ends in "tini" other than a plain, old-fashioned martini, definitely is.

How ya doing, buddy?

I do the same thing, but only because I DETEST "city water" with all the additives and purfiers they have to add to it to make it drinkable. It's well water or nothing for me.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Smoodle

Is she returning your calls? If not, leave her alone. She's not worth your time.

You're right. This is a really, really good way to tell if someone is interested in you for either friendship or a romantic relationship. Someone who doesn't return your calls is sending you a message. If she isn't calling you back, move on.

Quote:

Also, do you have a picture of yourself, and this girl you speak of?

Just curious, but what does that have to do with anything?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I seriously doubt that getting laid is the answer for our friend. Imagine how obsessed he'd be with that one! Dopefish needs to learn to love himself and his life - with or without a girlfriend or alcohol or weed. When he does that, all the pieces will fall into place.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by The Dopefish

Good things about me and my life:

• I'm economically stable. (I live at home, but I could probably live by myself.)
• I'm happy that I have been able to not drink for as long as I have. The longer I go the prouder I am that I haven't drank, though that may be related to how social I'm not.
• I'm happy to be atheist and politically independant.
• I'm happy I'm not an idiot and I want to go to school.
• I'm happy people like me, even if it's just because I'm nice to everyone.
• I'm happy I'm not an asshole.

I think that's it...

You sound like you have a lot going for you. I think if you can somehow manage to loosen up a little, you're going to be fine. =)

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Dopefish, here's the bottom line. If you whine in real life about your situation half as much as you've done in this thread, no one is going to want to be around you. You have to be positive.

I've noticed a trend among young people - especially boys - to try to win sympathy points by wallowing in self-pity. The harsh truth is, that doesn't work. Any girl with an ounce of self-respect is going to be repulsed by a guy who constantly harps about how lonely and socially inept he is.

Tell people often enough how much you suck and pretty soon they'll start to believe it.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.