In love with a fictional character?

OK, I have a strong opinion on this because of an experience I had.

First off, let me say that I think it's completely normal to fantasize or to be infatuated with a fictional character. If there are things about a character that appeal to you, whether it's their looks, their persona, their attitude, whatever, then what's the problem with admiring those things?

HOWEVER, I dated a guy who confessed to me (after we had gotten pretty serious) that for years he had literally been IN LOVE with a fictional character. I tried to get him to say that he had been obsessed with her or had a crush on her that he knew to be unrealistic and that he could differentiate these feelings he had for her from real love, but he could not be persuaded. He considers her to be his first "true love." He told me that it had been a life-changing experience for him. (This was a television character that he had incorporated into his D&D game, btw.)

I think it goes without saying that this revelation of his was the beginning of the end for the two of us, and if he had mentioned this early on in the relationship it would have been instant game over, which is probably why he waited as long as he did to tell me.

Now, pay attention. That's sick. You can not LOVE a person who isn't real. There has to be interaction between two people, mutual chemistry and appreciation, etc. Anything else is just obsession. It is NOT real love.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

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I guess what I'm trying to say is that love, and hate for that matter, both are feelings that stem from obsession

That's where you're wrong. Love is not just a feeling, for one thing, and I also disagree that it stems from obsession.

You're right in that there are many kinds of love, but the feelings that accompany all of them are just a side effect. The way I know I truly love my husband and children is because I know that I would sacrifice my life for any of them, that I would do whatever it took to make them happy, even at the expense of my own happiness. We have a history together...memories (good and bad), we've made one another the center of our lives. We admire and celebrate the good things about each other and we also know each other's bad traits, and we stick together anyway. That's love. Anything else is just infatuation.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

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And if you're going to turn around and tell me that Love isn't an emotion then I will go throw myself off my third story balcony.

Come back here after you've been with the same person for twelve years and tell me if you still think that love is an emotion.

I think that in the beginning there needs to be strong emotions or real love won't develop, but those feelings you're placing so much emphasis on fade with time.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I have to agree with him, Visavi. How were we to know that whinehurst was making up his own definition of the word if he didn't tell us otherwise? It was a logical assumption (on my part, at least) that he was using the standard definition of the word.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?