Have you ever broken up with someone you loved?

So deep that when I broke up with this woman named Tracy, it took over a year and a half for me to rebuild myself and get back into meeting new woman.

It was a hard breakup. We dated for about a year, but have been best friends for 2 years in college. *inhales* It was a beautiful time. We would do everything together. I got a kick when we were in Sears in the tool department, and she was like, "Let's go already! I want to check out the latest stuff at Spencers!" A guy over heard us and said, "You can't keep a man from his tools." She replied that she knew that already, and then he asked us how long we've been dating. She looked at me, then at him and said, "3 years." *chuckles* It was an uplifting moment. I was counting the from the days that we agreed to go out. She was counting from the day we first met (which I can still recall to this day).

So wonderful the time was with her that I hoped and always prayed to God that it wouldn't end. When she moved to Columbia to finish her degree, I would visit her every weekend and we would stay by each other's side the entire time. So in love I was that, every time I had to wake up early on Monday to leave, I would kiss her forehead and agonize in turmoil over the the fact that I had to leave. She was my air. My breathe of life. She was, at that time, the only other person that truly acknowledged my existence. Before leaving her dorm, I would watch her sleep for a minute; imprinting my angel's face in my head to hold me over for the week. I would kiss her forehead again, say I love you, leave a rose on her desk with a letter that I wrote to her before I came up.

She was all that I talked about at work. My co-workers wouldn't believe that I didn't watch any porn or that I wouldn't gawk at any woman. They couldn't accept the notion that a man who really loved another woman, didn't need external substance to satisfy all physical needs. The question I would always throw back was, "Why do I need to look at something intangible and beat off to it when I can unleash all my desires when I'm with her?" 'To each their own' would always be their response, but I thought nothing of it.

Fast forwarding to the latter part of the relationship, our separation was painful....excruciating....torture. On New Years Eve she told her parents that she was dating me. They didn't like it one bit. Her emails she received from her parents said it all. They couldn't stand the idea of their white daughter was dating a colored person. I was heartbroken when I read this. Sitting by her side at her dorm, I forced myself to read further. They went on to talk about how would the kids look like, and how society won't truly accept them. I literally couldn't believe my eyes! I, understanding that segregation on a historical level is still relatively young in America, could not register how prevalent thoughts like these were still ingrained in the previous generation's mind.

I was taken back... dumbfounded. We cried, but it got worse. They threaten to pull all family support from her education and stop speaking with her if she continued to date me.

As the weeks went on, I hoped that I can show them that I was a good man. But all my words fell on death ears, and everything I tried was for naught. They simply did not fold and began raising the stakes. Systematically, they pulled her finance, began visiting her daily, and started to harass my work. Luckily, for the work side, my boss was not easily swayed, and I remember him telling them if they don't have anything to substantiate their claims, then he would press legal action against them for calling his company work line.

Oh my gosh, this is getting long. Anyhow, fast forward some more and we had to separate and cut it off. In the end, we knew what had to be done, it's just that we thought we could fight this. Apparently, there are just some things that don't change.

So, a part of me died that day, and the following weeks all I did was just work and cry. I kept telling myself that I had to be strong because Tracy was probably going through the same thing. Oh how naive love makes you. A friend of mine called me up to check up on me, and I told her that I was still trying to sort my emotions. She kept encouraging me to get back in the game, but I kept telling her that I didn't want to carry an baggage over, and that I had no right to place my pains on any woman and possibly not give her the treatment she deserves because of my inability to work things out. Well, she fessed up and told me that the next day when we broke up, Tracy started dating someone else.

So, I was heartbroken more, blah, blah, blah. Fast forward 2 years and I ended up become unfettered by my past and was able to met new woman.

Looking back on it, it was actually good things turned out the way they did because, during those 2 years, I've grown...matured many have called it. This, in turned, as allowed me to know my limits, and never again become hurt in the way I did with her.

Plus, if I didn't, I would have never met the woman I'm with today, since she too went through the same emotions I did. Funny how life works, eh?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by nabhan

Jesus, she asked for an answer, not your life story.

You misconstrue an event that can never be painted as a "life story". I have many years ahead, and if they are as fruitful as I hope, it will merely be a flicker in my overall lifespan.

Originally Posted by Angel Of Light

and in my mind there is no point trying to hold onto something you can't have.

And that, my friend, was my revelation after the ordeal. I just wished it came to be sooner! >_<

There's nowhere I can't reach.