[DnD] GW URBX: 20! EVERYONE IS EXPLODE

Me me me me me me me!

I wanna be a Tiefling Avenger. Name of Ayatollah "Fuck the infidels" Murderson, aka the Brown Devil.

Weapons - Big, fuck off shiny sword and a suicide bomb vest.

Sponsors - Crazy Ahmed's Bomb Emporium (Putting the Fun into Fundamentalism), Honest Abdhul's Prayer Mat Bargain Warehouse (We Meccha you want to pray all day), Cillit Bang Cleaning Products (Guaranteed to remove those incriminating gunpowder residues).

Likes - Very organised religion.

Dislikes - Women, pretty much everything else. Especially women.

Backstory - The end product of the last remnants of an ancient religion getting a lot more than they bargained for when praying for destruction for their ancient enemies, shortly after the actual Armageddon. Murderson insists on converting everyone to his own brand of extremist religion although he does tend to make up the tennets as he goes along and converting often involves a lot of killing. Convinced that tv fame will help him convert a lot more people a lot quicker although whether he means the tv audience or the rest of his team is anyone's guess.

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4 Dice Rolls *Keep

Eight arms? In which case make that melee weapon Eight fuck off great shiny swords. Also the reason Murderson is so angry is that before being summoned by the crazy bastard remnants of Al Quaida, he was actually Vishnu and forcibly crossing religions like that tends to mess with a person's head.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

We need a team name.

How about Loosely Affiliated Brotherhood of Individual Adventurers.

I'm all about the acronyms.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

How about:

Champion Armoured Ninjas And Dinosaurs And Esoteric Assorted Teammates Sporting Big-Ass, Lady Loving Schlongs

How ya doing, buddy?

Hahahaha, you gave me an actual suicide bomb attack that is more effective when there are allies in the blast radius. This could be the shortest adventure ever.

Quick question, do you have to be adjacent to your enemy for oath of enmity to work or just be doing a melee attack, i.e. do I get the two rolls with the tentacle attack?

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by It's a Grundleful Life

TEAM NAME. If nothing sensible appears by tomorrow

You are aware of your player base right?

Additional Spam:
How about Legion of Doom 2 - Hell on Earth?

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The Melancholy of Perfection

How ya doing, buddy?

That, or determined by the last pun you made. No repeats allowed so you have to come up with a new one each time you use one.

"Things are heating up!"

Fires a flame arrow.

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"Lucky I bought this thrice-blessed bagel from Father Johnsons Godly Bagel Bar, the Holiest Holes in the Whole of the Holy Land"

35 Radiant damage to Zombie A

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I thought those were all going to be the one hit point type minions, not proper monsters.

I mean, that wouldn't have changed my battle plan one iota but I figured everything but the wombat would be as exploded as me.

Now where are my virgins?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

So I'm now exploded and dying?

That is very silly.

I feel I should get some form of bonus combo points though.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I hope you didn't spend too long writing up my character sheet, Pang. Doesn't look like I'll be needing it much longer.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Remind me again how many more times I get to try to hit a 50/50 dice roll or am I dead-dead already?

Next time I wanna be a watersoul genasi whose weapon is a plugged-in toaster.

Additional Spam:

Originally Posted by Axelrod :grundlecheck: Axelrod

Oh my god you actually jumbled the cards and chips around on the table. Your attention to detail is unparalleled.

The balls on the pool table look like they're setup for a mental trickshot too.

I was speaking idiomatically.

For fucks sake, I swear someone's rigged the dice roller.

How ya doing, buddy?

So who gets the MVP award for that fight then?

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He's big, he's funny, he's wood.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I have no idea if what I just proposed is achievable or if it is, how many dice need rolling for it so I'll leave all that crap in the hands of the experts.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Quick rules point, a reach of three on attacks means the four corners of a close burst three box right? As in diagonals count as one?

How ya doing, buddy?

Once again the best laid plans are foiled by my inability to roll a number higher than 6 on a d20.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Back to rolling death saves, yay!

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

We're engaged in a game of rocket tag where it's five against ten and the other team have control of the red armour and quad-damage.

But yeah, a combination of all striker characters, no tactical planning and a desperate to desire to roleplay our way into trouble does not bode well for the long-term survival of the team. Is there a plan for rotating in new characters? I don't recall anyone other than the current playing group showing an interest in joining.

I was speaking idiomatically.

To be fair, they are doing the sensible thing and hiding way out the back where the bad guys can't see them. Operation Strike-from-the-shadows-and-relative-protection-of-our-meat-shields is going pretty well!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

A death save roll of 13 means I'm stable, right? As in not dying but still a meaty doormat? Or basically put, I have no idea what the result of my dice rolling means, I think that's the first time a character of mine has passed a death save and I never paid much attention before.

FELIPE NO

So now I'm stable, I just lie on the floor till someone does something to wake me up, right? Or is there more dice rolling involved?

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Oh no, I'm sure I can rattle off a few yet.

Jam it back in, in the dark.