[PS3] Tokyo Jungle - Can a baby chick really take on a hippo?

Oh shit, I have to buy this.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

So I did buy this and it's the best reason to own a PS3 I can think of. Nothing can quite top the feeling of dashing through the park at night being chased by a pack of wolves, looking desperately for anything at all to eat anywhere because the game decided you don't deserve food only for a toxic cloud to descend and poison you and then just when you think that lot is about to kill you run into an entire pack of fucking crocodiles.

So much win combined with so much absolute, mind raping unfairness.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

There are a few fuck you moments in the story mode too. I was doing the one with the Beagles racing to become leader of the pack, act 6 I think. Finding the right route to get the markers isn't too tough with only jackals to fight on the way but once you get to the third, choose back the way you came rather than the other way and there's a fucking cheetah waiting for you. Avoid that bitch then you'll eventually run into a sleeping bear and a cheetah pack. You can spend, as I did, twenty minutes barely surviving only to find out eventually you could have just gone left and strolled it past a slightly miffed pig.

I downloaded all the extra animals so far and I think the giraffe is my favourite, although lining up on food can be tricky, especially when you need to eat right this fucking second or you're going to die.

The best run I've done on survival mode was 38 years and C rank as a deer which ended with a mad dash across three zones with no food trying to find three mushrooms before dieing of hunger with the third just in sight on the edge of the screen. I'm mainly just doing the unlock challenges and picking up the thingies to unlock story mode at the moment though. Looking forward to them patching it so it works on remote play on my shiny new PS Vita too.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

It's incredible how quickly you can go from cruising along fine to game over in this. 35 years in as a crocodile, all the challenges wrapped up for this decade, got two other crocs in tow, good selection of items, just need to nip through the sewers to get back to Shibuya Station to start the next decade's challenges then BAM, lion pride out of nowhere and everyone's dead.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yeah, I spotted that with my Pomeranian, the only animal I've done a bunch of runs with. As a result I now try to go for the better mates where possible and also am changing generation more often than I was before.

Bullshit moment of the week: Challenge pops up, find the parking area in Shibuya Station, playing as a Gazelle. Normally pretty easy except just as I'm about to enter the area it pops up with "A territory battle is underway in Shibuya Station" and there are about a thousand fucking lions and tigers going at it across the whole area. They didn't even attack me, I lost the entire troop to a couple of random miss-swipes from the melee as I was trying to dash round the edges of it.

I'm looking forward to the patch for remote play on Vita coming out so I can devote a bit more time to this as despite being an evil, evil game, I love it. The fucking Tosa chapter of story mode where you have to kill a crocodile, tiger and apparently a thousand chimps with no checkpoint was a bitch but so satisfying once you beat it.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I was a little surprised that a Tosa can take down a tiger in a clean kill myself, the tiger is a monumental pussy compared to the others. The croc isn't too bad if you just dodge and counter a lot or even better, run up the stairs and bitch slap him in the face from just out of reach. The way I got the chimps was edging towards them then trying to draw off a couple at a time from the bottom of the building then once most were dead, heading up and clean killing the boss. To be honest though, on one attempt I got killed by the cats on the way to the croc, there aren't many safe bet fights in the game.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Once I figured the best route, you can do that Beagle one with nothing more dangerous than a fight with three hyenas by the second checkpoint. Go right from the start, swerve the boar then there's nothing really dangerous until the game forces you to fight the hyenas. If you go left from the third checkpoint going clockwise there's very little to avoid and certainly no cheetahs, plus there's no time limit for getting back after you get the checkpoints so you can take your time.

I'm currently stuck on the second hyena stealth mission, trying to sneak through the sewer past the Beagles. I can get about halfway easily enough then there's a section where you have to time your moves past a bunch moving around and I can't seem to get it right. To be fair I only tried about three times so far though.

FELIPE NO

Finally finished Metal Gear Beagle after about 20 tries, using the barking idea really helps with the last one in the sewer then it's dead simple after that. Also finally unlocked the Tosa as a retriever although I lasted all of 20 seconds after the boss died due to upsetting quite a lot of lions. Anyone heard anything about a remote play update? Much as I'm enjoying playing Ico on my Vita, I'd love to get this on there.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I've come close to smashing up my tv today, trying to beat the fucking sabertooth and super-jackal on Act 12 of story mode. I swear half the time I'm dying of hunger before they get me because the sabretooth flat out refuses to do the jumping in the air move and the fucking jackal won't get stunned. Deep breaths and come back and try again later I think.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I tried that but I died of starvation. One time I ran it I managed to sneak attck a lion and it dropped some pet food so possibly that's the solution I'm looking for.

I tend to pick up a new story chapter at the same time as unlocking a new animal as you tend to be running all over the shop without bothering with too many of the other challenges anyway doing that.

There's nowhere I can't reach.