Beer Thread

Fuck beer, y'all should drink lager. It tastes better, you can drink more of it without needing to shit, you don't smell like a tramp after drinking half a pint of it and it gives you all the energy you need to smash up a French cafe.

I used to drink Harvey's when I first started going to the pub, mainly because I was a bit too young to know what I actually wanted to drink. Then when I turned 15 I had a few nights out on the lager and saw the light.

Beer drinkers inevitably have stupid beards, large guts, wear sandals and socks and bang on incessantly about the relative merits of Old George's Hop Wrangler or Smokey Nun's Squitty Finger in dingy pubs with horse brasses all over the walls. They can all essentially fuck off in my opinion.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Malmer

Sad to hear that parts of the world are still confined to that image, but yeah, that was also what I saw, at least outside of London.

Coming from the UK, you shouldn't be unfamiliar with some of the really good shit when it comes to cider either?

I gotta be frank. Beer, lager, cider. I love all of it.

Cider's a different matter. Whereas beer drinkers get wanky and anal about where the Hops was sourced and what phase of the moon the brewing started in and smell funny, cider drinkers know that drinking cider is all about getting fucked up as fast as is humanly possible. My mate's pub has a range of ciders and perries on tap and rotates guest ones from time to time. There's a fucking ton of organic and otherwise cider producers round here (Sussex being prime apple country after all) and fucking yourself over on scrumpy is an essential part of growing up after all.

Most people start off on the cheap and nasty White Lightning and Diamond White, get really ill then give up drinking cider for years. Then in later life you get back into it and cider drunk is always fun drunk. Old Rosie is a great Perry and at 11% or there abouts will fuck you over almost immediately. Even the bottled ones like Brothers are pretty decent, especially the festival strength one.

Cider is great, mainyl because even though there is the occasional cider bore, they still tend to enjoy getting smashed, unlike beer bores who are just boring. Of course if you really want to lose a day, Stella and strong Perry snakebite is the only way to go. I challenge anyone to drink three pints of Stella/Old Rosie snakebite and walk in a straight line. I've seen five pints of that put a hardcore alcoholic on the floor.

How ya doing, buddy?

I can't imagine ever getting drunk on stout, there's just too many calories in there to counteract the alcohol, plus after a couple of pints you feel like you've eaten a large meal and my stomach just can't take any more. I've seen people get pissed on stout so I know it's possible, it's just not something I think I'd ever manage personally.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.