[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

I howled my battlecry, noticing with some satisfaction the look of pure horror on the face of the nearest green-skin as the lads rushed past me and commenced the all too familiar business of carving up bad guys. Feeling inspired, I blasted the beast with a debilitating ray, followed closely by an ice beam, looking to disable my foe as much as kill it.

Ray of Enfeeblement on big ork, spend an action point, Ray of Frost on same. Step back slightly into the doorway in case of javelins and so forth

I was speaking idiomatically.

The ice ray appears to fly over the ork's head but once again, the natural accuracy of the elves was my saviour.

Elven accuracy, re-roll Ray of Frost attack

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Shin

The ice ray appears to fly over the ork's head but once again, the natural accuracy of the elves was my saviour.

Elven accuracy, re-roll Ray of Frost attack

FELIPE NO

The orc leader fell to his knees, arms outstretched to the sky with a gurgling cry and fire consumed his body. I felt a momentary twinge of guilt, the orcs had not been bothering us really and possibly we could have found a more diplomatic solution to whatever differences we may have had. It was too late for that now, now was the time for fighting!

I peeked round the door and saw a group of orcs running up from my left. Surmising that reducing the number of attackers was our best chance of survival, I unleashed my powerful sleep spell at them.

"Look after my friend, he's dead tired" I yelled, unable to think of any suitable quotes from the many, many wonderful theatrical events I had attended to properly fit the situation. Without looking, I knew the ugly dwarf was rolling his eyes at me...

Move to doorway, cast Sleep on the middle of the southern orcs so I hit all four of them.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Not wishing any orcs to escape and warn their friends about us, I took a couple of steps north and blasted the fleeing group with eldritch fire.

Two steps north, Scorching Burst on northern group of orcs

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarves seemed to be struggling to kill the remaining wolf, rather surprising after the initial massacre that had occured here.

I sauntered round the corner and fired an ice ray at the wolf with a disdainful flick of my staff.

Saunter south a bit, Ray of Frost at wolf

There's nowhere I can't reach.

While the horde rifled through the dead bodies and searched for more secret doors, I decided that such a glorious victory should not be left anonymous. I busied myself drawing an elaborate tag on the wall above the dead orc leader using the neverending chalk the kobolds had given us.



This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Ahem.

The lads had discovered some goblins on a wall or something. Ranged combat being my speciality I mosied over to join them, readying an Ice Ray spell.

How ya doing, buddy?

The situation was looking awkward. I was the only member of the party with an effective ranged weapon, the small child seemingly oblivious to the sling tucked into her belt. The ugly dwarf had lost his throwing hammer up the ledge and the other dwarf seemed rooted to the spot with fear, completely ignoring the ork in the room with us and the room full of dead orcs behind us, most of whom would doubtless be carrying things with sharp edges we could throw at the goblins. Whilst the big human and myself could easily reach the ledge and pull ourselves up, I could see no easy way to get the more vertically challenged members of the horde up there to attack the goblins.

Unable to stop the eastern goblin running off to get help, I blasted the same goblin with another frost ray, hoping to at least thin their numbers before their friends arrived.

Ray of Frost on the bloodied goblin, fired from a mainly peeking round the corner position.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Seeing the big chap attempting to climb up to the goblins on the ledge, I provided covering fire in the form of another icy blast. Deciding that joining him on the high ground might not be a terrible idea with reinforcements inbound, I sprinted forward, taking cover against the wall under the ledge.

Ray of Frost on not-quite-dead-yet Goblin, move to one square north of same goblin, pressed to the wall.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I scrambled up the wall to stand over the fallen goblin on the ledge. Moving along behind the big guy, I fired a frost ray over his shoulder at whatever goblin sharpshooter was left standing.

Climb up to the ledge, move a bit east, Ray of Frost on nearest sharpshooter left alive

How ya doing, buddy?

Having failed to scale the wall, I sighed deeply and went back to doing what I did best. I hurled a ray of dark energy at the goblin nearest the horde, hoping that thedy could finish him off more easily in a weakened state.

Ray of enfeeblement on skullcleaver

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

It was clear that silencing the Hexxer was critical to our victory. Fearsome warriors though they were, even the Horde were rendered largely helpless once blinded. I sprinted forward with a burst of speed generally reserved for tactical retreats, taking cover behind the large pillar in the centre of the room. I leaned out to line up a shot and screamed at the top of my voice "MMMMMAAAAAAAGGGGGEEEEEE FFFIIIIIIIGGGGHHHTTT" before blasting the goblin with a ray of ice.

Run to cover south of central pillar, Ray of Frost on goblin wizard.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I watched as the big guy disengaged from the goblin archers. I knew it was terribly bad form to back out of a mage fight so soon after starting it but I was painfully aware of the fact that with no massive death-dealing human to worry about, the closest target the archers had was my exposed back. Even my newly gained shielding powers were unlikely to stop too many arrows from piercing my thin robes and I was in no mood for becoming a pin-cushion.

Cursing the big oaf's impetuousness, I broke cover and ran west, taking up a new vantage point behind the westernmost pillar. Satisfied that I was safe here from unexpected attacks from behind, I shifted my attention to the injured goblin archer, firing off an ice ray at the creature, hoping that he'd fall off the ledge with shock or something. If nothing else, I'd be able to scavenge his arrows for the bow I'd not really used much up to this point...

Move west to stand west of western pillar, Ray of Frost on bloodied archer

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Seeing the goblin archer fall prone, and thus make an easy target, I advanced towards him, taking cover behind the central pillar again before unleashing my devastating frost ray at the face-planted orclet.

Move east to cover behind central pillar, Ray of Frost on goblin archer

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Our foes were vanquished and the fashion concious dwarf did the rounds of the bodies, looking for loot or even food as far as I could tell. He seemed to struggling somewhat in the gloom so I tossed him my sunrods, having no need of them myself thanks to my light spell.

The Horde appeared to be bedding down again, I had never known a group to sleep so much. I figured it must be a side effect of their recent reanimation. Not fancying sleeping on the floor in a wide open room with multiple entrances, I attempted again to climb up to the ledge, both to find a more secluded sleeping spot and to find out exactly how the goblin archer had alerted his friends.

How ya doing, buddy?

Smiling at my god fortune, I climbed down the ladder, wrapped myself in a fur and settled down to sleep in front of the fire.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I awoke to find that the ugly dwarf had joined me while I slept. I found it quite endearing that it would feel most comfortable sleeping near it's master. It occured to me that I had no idea whether this dwarf was male or female (Or at least had been male or female before it's untimely demise, I was unaware of whether gender distinctions counted in undeath) nor indeed how one could tell the difference. I was becoming more attached to the little chap as the days wore on but obviously I didn't want anyone to assume I was one of those elves. If I wore eyeliner it was strictly a fashion statement and in no way indicative of a preference for bed fellows of my own sex.

I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and got up, performing my morning stretches, certain that the day would bring further exertion. The dwarf was examining the onward corridor but I was more interested in what looked like a hastily constructed barrier at the far end of the ledge. First things first though, I applied our victory tag to the wall up on the ledge, clear for all to see.

I then moved to examine the western end of the ledge, looking to see how much effort it might take on behalf of the horde to break through the wall.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Woohoo! A secret tunnel!

Barely able to restrain my excitment, I scurried to the corner and took a sneaky peek round, using all the stealth at my disposal.

FELIPE NO

If ever I saw an altar to the dark Gods, this was one. I was somewhat dismayed though that with my own extensive knowledge of world religions and with two actual religious personages in the party nobody seemed to know anything more about this.

As the principal font of knowledge and insight in the group, I moved into the room and examined the swirly mist in the glass boxes, peering into one for a while before giving it a gentle tap to see if the contents responded.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Startled by the sudden incursion of the wall into the room I rushed forward to help the dwarf up out of the hole. Once he was clear, I examined the mechanism behind the wall to see if it could be disabled or if there was a way to climb over to get to the altar without being crushed.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I tossed the vial of alchemist's fire I was carrying down the hole. It was only weighing me down anyway.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

With nothing left to throw down the hole, I went to join the dwarves by the door. I figured it might be someone else's turn to open the thing though.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I never had got the hang of the goblin language but the child seemed to understand the wizened creature in front of us and wandered off through the room. She said something to us but sadly, I could no more understand her weird dialect than I could the rest of the horde. It seemed odd to me that we had met a creature in the dungeon and not immediately tried to murder it though. I could only assume we were waiting to get behind the beast before slitting it's throat or something. Surely we weren't going to let it live? I mentally prepared for combat...

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

"Pssst, guys" I whispered, "How abouts we sneak back up the stairs, kill the guards when they're least expecting it and maybe find something that might help us kill a dragon?".

Much as I relished the opportunity the get killed by a dragon, I figured it wouldn't hurt to have a nosey about upstairs first.

I was speaking idiomatically.