[DnD] Tomb of Horrors (GFF D&D Adventure X)

As I examined the tapestries, they turned to sludge in my hands. I really hoped that they hadn't been valuable and added their destruction to my ever-growing list of things I needed to apologise for should we ever find whoever it was who owned this tomb.

I'm sure someone had told me once that the best way to clear acidic slime out your path was to burn it off but I was loathe to waste my only source of light by throwing it at a slime.

I remembered however that there were three large cooking fires in the other room and an abundance of firewood. I returned to the first room and gathered up as much flammable debris as I could and threw it in the direction of the slime that was blocking our path. I then wrapped a rag around a plank and took a light from the nearest cooking fire before tossing the brand into my impromptu bonfire, thinking as I did that it was really lucky that these weren't sentient creatures or else this would be a pretty unkind thing to do.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The acid puddles suitably cleared, I picked my way across the smouldering room and peered into the new corridor. I had a nagging feeling that we'd probably missed something in the largely unexplored science room but whatever it was, it'd probably just be some trinket one of the lads would steal. What interested me was finding the liche, persuading him to stop raising an army of the undead and getting back to tracking down whoever murdered my parents.

I ventured into the tunnel, trusting in the others to cover my back should something nasty jump out at me.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I had never been any good at picking locks and frankly, I'd given up on the idea at a very young age. Sam was probably very good at it but given the riddle had specifically talked about keys and locks, I figured that looking for the keys might result in significantly less injury by nasty traps.

"Well dear boy", I replied to the Halfling "I do love exploring caves and the mist can only make it more exciting, I vote for spelunking"

Exploring caves was something I was good at and so as not to get lost in the mist, I started by following the wall, probing ahead with my toes so as not to fall in any big holes.

Work my way round the edge of the cave carefully until I find something or die horribly.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I was still pondering what exactly Sam was planning to do with my axe when Slim rushed past me and launched a bomb at the defenseless maiden.

I was horrified at the casual disregard my companion had for innocent life. I knew the rest of the Five were far more experienced adventurers than me but I had never imagined they would commit blatant murder with such little care.

I covered Howard's eyes from the horror then turned away from the conflaguration and was noisily sick on the floor.

How ya doing, buddy?

Not wanting to go any closer to the smouldering remains, I carried on skirting the room, looking out for dragons.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

2 Dice Rolls *Damage

Lords! I had stumbled upon an undead dragon! This could not end well.

The beast roared at me, spraying me with chunks of his last meal, including a particularly sharp bone fragment that lodged in my arm. I looked down and saw a thin line of blood where the shard had connected and promptly passed out.

The Minotaur opened his eyes to see an undead monstrosity leering at him. He was unconcerned, he had bested greater foes than this whelp. With barely a shrug he riased his axe...

Wait, this was not his axe. His axe had been his constant companion through the years, together they had toppled kingdoms, bested armies and enacted genocide against at least three distinct races of gnomes. Certainly the mace he now found in his grasp was a fine weapon but that mattered not, it was not his mace. As his choler rose, he was heedless of his old companion strapped safely to his back. Beefi would find whoever took his axe and he would kill them. He would also kill everyone he met on the way, starting with the oversized pile of undead lizard in front of him.

Flying into an apoplectic rage, he leapt forward, swinging the mace at the head of his foe with all his strength. His record for dragon slaying was six swings, he hoped to beat that count today.

Move west one square, Tiger's Claw Rage on Dracolich
+15 means 11+ to hit

Miss! Half damage. 2D8+9 =18/2 =9 damage

Beefi enters Tiger's Claw Rage. All missed attacks now cause 1W damage

Not for the first time, raw power proved not to be more effective than finesse and the mighty warrior missed with his strike. The aura of the mace still ripped a chunk of necrotic flesh from the dragon's face but Beefi had been hoping to remove the entire skull.

"One" he muttered in a slightly sullen voice.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

2 Dice Rolls *Damage

The dragon swings a massive strike at the minotaur. In his frenzy, the warrior managed to bring the mace up in a mighty strike at the beat's claw.

Immediate interupt, Curtain of Steel
Hit! 20 or 21 damage, I think, unless the mace does extra damage to undead dragons

Chunks of necrotised flesh fly from the dragon's arm as the minotaur flies backwards across the room. As the mace hits home, it pulses with a holy light, further fortifying the barbarian.

"TWO" bellowed Beefi, a shower of blood erupting from his mouth as the claws rended his flesh.

Another interupt, Oath of Enduring Wrath, +2 to saves for the rest of the fight.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

6 Dice Rolls *VAE VICTUS

Wiping the blood from his eyes with the back of his hand, the enraged barbarian lowered his head and charged at the dragon. He would teach this creature the folly of messing with a Kertanz.

Goring charge in a sweeping semi-circle at dragon so as to attack from the south
Hit! - 14 damage and Dragon is knocked prone

The massive creature was lifted clean off the floor and deposited hard on the ground by the charging minotaur. As if this wasn't embarrasing enough for the undead lizard, Beefi's mace pulsed violently, the light flaying chunks of flesh from the liche's flanks

Mace power - 3D10 additional radiant damage

Not allowing the slightest hint of respite to his foe, Beefi segued into a fearsome overhead smash, aimed at the space where the dragon might once have had testicles.

Action point, Rage Strike on dragon
I think that's a hit, if not then damage is halved + 1D8 damage for effects of rage

"VAE VICTUS!" the barbarian bellowed as his mace impacted on the upended dracolich's nether regions. "Oh, and er, combos count as one so THREE".

So, I think that's: 14+(23x1.5)+23 damage = 71 damage?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Beefi slumped to the floor, blood spilling from the wounds inflicted by the dragon. In truth this was not the first time in his violent life that the barbarian had been knocked unconcious by an enemy but the injuries he had just received were far from the worst.

He lay there for a while, staring blankly at the ceiling. All this lying around was cutting into his dragon slaying time but for some reason he couldn't seem to move his legs properly right now.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

2 Dice Rolls Damage

Even in his current state of near-death, the barbarian's warrior spirit would not admit defeat. His arm twitched out, smashing his mace into the beast's leg.

Ferocity feat two turns too late, MBA against dragon (Same damage whether hit or miss)
13 damage

How ya doing, buddy?

4 Dice Rolls Geonid damage

The Minotaur's eyes snapped open and he circled his legs, coming to his feet in a single, fluid motion. He fixed his gaze on the dragon, now foolishly standing with it's back to him and set off at a dead run, swinging his mace in a broad arc designed to send the evil beast flying.

Second Wind, stand as a minor with Agile Recovery, move north to dragon, Brutal Slam.
Hit! 2D8+2D6+9 damage, dragon is knocked two squares north and prone, Geonid B takes 1D8+9 damage.
16 Damage to dragon, 12 to Geonid.

So apoplectic with rage was the Barbarian, his companions could barely make out what he was saying as he screamed out "FOUR" at the top of his voice.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

2 Dice Rolls Miss damage

The minotaur was starting to feel better, his earlier injuries all but forgotten. He was still pissed off though, the dragon refused to fall apart under the flurry of blows he was launching at it and it was looking increasingly like he wasn't going to beat his personal dragon slaying record.

Ignoring the bewildered looking Shifter, Beefi set off at a jog towards the dragon again. Lowering his head as if to deliver another viscious charge attack, the barbarian side-stepped at the last minute, up behind the dragon, before swinging his mace in a wide arc at the back end of the creature.

Move to E-47, Pressing strike on dragon with initial 2 square shift due north to C-37.
That's got to be a miss, 1D8+9 (17) damage.

His side-step has unbalanced him more than he would ever admit in public and the mace swung high, merely grazing the monstrosity in front of him.

FELIPE NO

4 Dice Rolls more damage

The dragon seemed to be ignoring the barbarian, serving only to fuel his rage. Following the beast across the room, Beefi swung his mace in a massive, overhead swing, looking to destroy the monster once and for all.

Move east one, Avalanche strike
Oh, snap, that's gonna hurt

The mace of St Cuthbert rips through the dragon, sprayng chunks around the room. Exultant, Beefi threw his head back and cried "SIX" to whoever would listen.

Critical hit so 35 damage + 14 radiant damage = 56 total damage + Rampage feat grants free MBA
Boo, only 10 more damage.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

2 Dice Rolls *Damage

The dragon's refusal to lie down and stay properly dead was serving only to fuel Beefi's rage. His eyes rolled back into his head and he started frothing at the mouth, incensed that he was not going to beat his personal best Dragon slaying record. Grasping his mace in both hands, he stepped forward and aimed yet another massive blow at the creature.

Move east, Devastating Strike
Hit! 17 damage less whatever being weakened means.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

3 Dice Rolls Save vs weakness

His eyes clouded with blood and his berzerker rage completely blanking his mind, the minotaur continued to swing at the massive zombie. Mid-swing, he caught a glimpse of Slim, lying in a puddle of gore and for the barest fraction of a second, lucidity returned and Beefi was crushed inside at what was certainly going to be the end of his newest friendship.

Which of course served only to boost his rage to new levels.

Slamming his fists against his chest like an angry yeti, Beefi howled a cry of pain and anguish.

MMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

He smashed his mace once more into the Dracolich, determined that this foe would not escape unpunished.

Play "Now you fucked up" card, Devastating Strike on Dragon
Hit! 15 damage

Also, use the mace power thing to make the dragon re-roll it's save against ongoing damage

There's nowhere I can't reach.

2 Dice Rolls *Damage

All thoughts of records, tactics or in fact combat skills were now completely lost to the maddened barbarian. He continued his rythmic strokes, pounding out a violent concerto on the dragon's flanks with his magical, musical mace.

Devastating strike
Hit! 21 damage

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

His foe finally vanquished, the minotaur cast about, looking for something else to vent his anger upon. The halfling looked fair game and the shifter definitely wanted some but the goose, ah yes, the goose knew something, the goose had a glint of pure evil in it's beady eyes and the goose had to die.

Whirling round to face his new enemy, Beefi slipped in the puddle of blood that was slowly spreading out of the Kobold and hit the ground hard, knocking him senseless.

I awoke to find myself covered in blood and spittle. I had no idea why and no idea why I was covered in gashes and bruises. Still, I seemed to be alive and the rest of the Five looked moderately healthy, except for Slim who was having a bit of a lie down.

In a moment of feverish inspiration, I grabbed the large chunk of dragon tooth that was lying on the floor and ran over to see if it would fit the giant lock.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?