[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

Once again we had triumphed against overwhelming odds. I moved over to the mage's corpse and picked up his staff and wand, checking each for any sign of magic power. I then followed the horde into the northern room, opening the cupboard in the hopes of finding a replacement for my now rather ragged cloak. This being a wizard's study I also kept an eye out for any useful artifacts or reagents.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I stowed the wand and replenished my water supply from the casks. Feeling peckish, I remembered the recently deceased crab that the big chap had already been tucking into. Prefering cooked crab to raw, I grabbed an armful of books at random to use as kindling and built a small cooking fire in the corner of the ghoul room. While I waited for the crab to cook, I flicked through the book on Aimless Wandering, a subject that had always been close to my heart.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Inspired by the book, I ate a not altogether unpleasant meal of crab claws then meandered back into the northern room. All obvious items of interest and or value having been removed, I double checked for any secret switches, doors or cubby holes, paying paticular attention to the bookshelf and desk. The solitary gap in the bookshelf was bugging me but with no other books about I could not imagine what might go there and anyway, I had just burned the rest of the books cooking dinner.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I assumed that nobody would make a small, parchment sized hole for no reason and there being no parchment already in it, I figured maybe I should put some in there. I grabbed a quill from the desk and a scrap of parchment and wrote down "Now I have a repeater crossbow. Ho ho ho." before rolling up the parchment and placing it in to the hole. I wasn't sure what to expect exactly but I had a feeling this might be some kind of secret message relay system or something and if so, I wanted whoever was on the other end of it to know that me and the horde were coming for them and we were taking no prisoners!

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

I looked around for any flammable liquid I might be able to pour down the hole. There was nothing immediately available so I climbed up the bookshelf and relieved myself into the hole instead. I had drunk a fair bit of water since our discovery of the casks and had a piss an ogre would have been proud of.

Satisfied that this battle of wits had been won, I joined the others in the statue room.

FELIPE NO

I followed the rogue and saw him stop, identifying a number of trip-wires along the corridor and a curious lizard hiding behind a portcullis at the end of the corridor.

"Well, isn't this an interesting situation?" I mused, to myself as much as anything, unsure as to whether my undead companion could understand me.

"As I see it we have a few options. We could shoot arrows at the lizard until it dies, then sneak past the trip wires an go open that grate. Or, we could stand well back and throw things at the trip-wires, activating the inevitable traps, then once they've fired off, stroll down the corridor and stab the lizard. The only problem with this is if the floor collapses or the ceiling comes down, we might never get down the corridor at all. That lever's a mite too far away for Force tricks to pull so we need to be a bit closer whatever the plan really although I'm sure we've enough ammo between us to skewer him through the grate eventually. You never know, he might just get pissed off and charge us, thereby demonstrating how the traps work. At any rate, it's probably best to wait for the rest of the chaps to wake up before we go doing anything rash don't you think?".

I wasn't really expecting an intelligible answer but I figured as a morale boosting exercise it was best to make the lads feel involved at least.

Additional Spam:
It was at this point I remembered I'd been injured in the previous encounter. This realisation sent a soothing calm through my body, making me feel much better.

Experience a healing surge hot flush thing to top up the old HP

Most amazing jew boots

My plan had proved successful although sadly, had been enacted before I was quite ready and I had taken two bolts to the chest. With a scream of agony I wrenched the bolts free, glad of the silk under-shirt I was wearing which had limited the damage from the barbs. I immediately felt dizzy and the world around me grew darker. "Maybe a rest wouldn't kill us" I managed to gasp before I passed out.

Faint dramatically

Most amazing jew boots

After a fitfull sleep, I awoke feeling refreshed, the bolts to the chest all but forgotten. While I had slept it seemed as though the rogue had been busy and our way forward seemed obvious. Too obvious some might say...

I wasn't about to head down the tunnel alone so I gave the room a thorough going over for any secret doors or cubby holes while I waited for the horde to rouse themselves. For a bunch of zombies they certainly seemed to sleep soundly.

On a whim, I grabbed a quill and some ink from the wizard's study and very carefully drew glasses on the faces of the sleeping dwarves. They looked almost distinguished afterwards although being dwarves, they still had faces only a mother could love. I had to admit to myself though that the one with the singed beard was quite handsome in a rugged, earthy way.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarves and the big guy were awake and it was time to press on. I held my newly acquired wand out in front of me and lit up the tip with a spell. I moved to the tunnel mouth and peered into the gloomy passage. Whoever built this dungeon was not out to encourage wandering about so I had a good look about for traps before moving forward.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Seeing that the tunnel was apparently clear of traps, I edged down it, wand in hand, hoping that I would see whoever might be at the end of it before they saw me.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The poor Kobolds were in trouble and it was up to us to save them! Anyway, I thought to myself, what's the worst that could possibly be down there?

"Come my minions!" I yelled, "To arms, let us give our aid to these noble creatures...". My rallying cry was cut short by the large, slithering mass sliding past me, narrowly avoiding knocking me into the hole. "Er, that's the spirit" I muttered, lowering myself gingerly over the edge of the hole before dropping to the bottom, rolling when I landed to absorb the impact and coming to my feet in one smooth motion, wand outstretch ready to deal icy death to anyone or anything looking the least bit beligerent.

I was speaking idiomatically.

I followed the others in the direction of the sound of fighting, peeking round the corner to see what was going on.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

"Right, this calls for a tactical approach. You, the big guy, go that way, stumpy, you take the other corridor. I'll, er, stand behind you, I can fire spells just fine over your head." I shouted, attempting to marshall my troops. The Kobolds milling around were confusing me somewhat and we still had yet to find out what we were fighting.

I moved to the east, peering around the corner to the north.

FELIPE NO

I made a series of hand gestures designed to convey to the horde that they should fan out in front of me in the classic "Defend our glorious leader" formation. After a few moments of nothing happening, I glanced over my shoulder to see what they were doing. The sight of nobody there lessened my bravado somewhat and I shrunk back against the wall of the corridor. What was I doing? There was clearly some huge battle in progress and here I was charging to join it as if I was the mighty Celtic warrior and songsmith, Ronan the Barbarian.

I considered allowing discretion once again to triumph over valour but my curiosity once again got the better of me and I edged forward to where the Kobold stood in front of me to get a decent look into the open area ahead. Perhaps if I exercised the same caution sound every corner the battle would be over before I bumped into it...

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Never one to ignore the advice of a small, scaly creature, I kept myself well clear of the massive lizard. The blacksmith handed me an axe, thinking me perhaps unarmed at present. I was never a big fan of axe fighting, it's generally a messy affair given the difficulty of using the things to block but I held on to it, imagining that the giant human or one of the dwarves might find a use for it. It was surprisingly light so did not really encumber me.

I continued moving cautiously to the north, my desire to help out these little creatures tempered somewhat by the lack of any meaningful backup as yet and a nagging feeling that there was more going on here than initially met the eyes. The calm demeanour of the blacksmith made me suspicious and never let it be said that an elf rushed into a situation unprepared for the worst.

How ya doing, buddy?

My eyes had been deceived in the dim torchlight and what I had thought to be a doorway was in fact a wall. I made some pretence of admiring the smith's work to cover my error then ran back down the corridor I had arrived from, hoping that the horde hadn't got themselves in too much trouble in my absence.

Run back towards Argumentus

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The cramped conditions in the tunnel made it difficult for me to draw a bead on the giant insect thing that seemed intent on eating the rogue. Not wishing to accidentally hit him and not knowing what other horrors might come rushing down the corridor at us, I conjured up a vicious cloud of stabbing daggers to both assail the bug and deter any of it's friends.

Cloud of daggers on the bug I can just about see at the corner

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Aware of my own limitations as far as close quarters combat was concerned, I resisted the urge to rush forward and attack the other bugs. With space limited in the tunnel, a small chap with a big axe would doubtless make better use of the gap than I. With no visible targets available, I had little option but to bide my time until we could push out of this passage. I did a few squat thrusts to warm up while I waited.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

I settled into the Patient Hypogriff stance, as my Mage Combat teacher had instructed me at the academy, allowing me to survey the scene and allow my slower witted companions to act before me. Standing on one leg with the other cocked forward and my arms swept back, I waited for my chance to strike the foe.

Delay until the end of the round

I was speaking idiomatically.

The press of bodies ahead continued to impede my advance so I maintained my stance and spent a moment considering what war cry to go with, once I got to the battle.

Delay action to the end of the round

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Spotting a clear spot in the corridor ahead, I rushed forward to stand over the fallen bug. Leaning round the corner to peer into the room, I blasted the goblin on the left with a frost ray.

Move up to corner, Ray of frost on western goblin

FELIPE NO

To the untrained eye it looked like I had missed my target. The untrained eye however knew not of the inherent accuracy possessed of all elves.

Elven accuracy to re-roll ray of frost

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I had been stabbed and could feel my life blood running out of the wound. More goblins were pouring into the room as the plucky Kobolds' defence crumbled under the onslaught. I looked to back away from my assailant but the corridor behind me was a press of bodies.

With nowhere to go I took the only sensible option and blasted the goblin that had stabbed me in the face with a Ray of Frost.

Ray of Frost to the face of the goblin nearest

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The blood loss from the spear wound was makng me dizzy and I struggled to focus my thoughts. Spots clouded my vision and I was beset by a terrible headache. I dropped my wand and drew my staff to steady myself.

I saw the goblins in front of me and gathered my will, thinking a cloud of daggers would slow them sufficiently. I mouthed the incantation but to my chagrin, nothing happened. I tried again, and again, panicing now as the pain in my head grew worse and my eyes clouded further. With one last desperate act of will, I flung my arm forward and roared my defiance at the green-skinned beasts.

At that moment I felt as though my whole body was on fire. Eldritch energy coursed through me and sparks and wisps of smoke issued from my robes. My hair was standing on end and I thought it might burst into flames at any minute. I raised my staff in front of me and saw that the skin on the back of my hand was glowing with barely suppressed power. Was this the same power that had caused me to raise my companions from the dead? Had my mysterious magicks come to the surface in this, our hour of need?

Suddenly, my eyes cleared and the pain was gone. I felt calm and marvelled at the new power streaming through my being. Raising my head, I surveyed the room with baleful eyes. I stared down one of the goblins and gave a low chuckle, these creatures were doomed, they just didn't know it yet.

I lifted my hand, palm raised in a short sharp gesture and a maelstrom of flame erupted in the midst of the goblins, searing their flesh from their very bones. I laughed out loud as the flames died down, surveying the carnage my new powers had wrought on our enemies.

Drop wand, equip staff, Scorching Burst one square west of Goblin B

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Still reeling from my own display of arcane power, I looked around the room to identify the biggest threat to my horde. The newest entrant to the fray, a goblin much larger than the others seemed the obvious choice so I levelled my staff and aimed a debilitating ray of pestilence at him.

Ray of enfeeblement on big goblin

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.