Your Relationship with your Parents

Well, I dont particularly like my relationship with them.

I never really had a dad in my life [since my parents divorced when I was a baby], and since then I've hardly seen him. He did try to get to know me during 2003, and he was telling my mom that he wanted to have a relationship with me. He sent me cards, called me every week, and I called him. It was really awesome to finally get to know him and what not. I finally visited him in spring of 2004, and when I did, it felt...cold. It didn't feel very much like family, but rather "Oh hello. Mister, i'm just a random kid". We went to NYC together, but it was just weird. After the trip, the phone calls became less and less. The letters stopped coming, and when I invited him to my High School graduation, he didn't come, but rather went on vacation with his other family [in the same city I lived in]. So...after that we stopped talking. I havent heard from him in 3 years.



My relationship with my Mom and I is wearing thin. We don't get along that much, and I feel like i'm being constantly put down by her, and always disappointing her, even when I try to be good and do the right thing. For instance, I could be home one day when she's working, and vacuum the house, clean the dishes and put them away, do my laundry and clean my room. But when she comes home, she'll point out one little thing that I missed or something she wanted done, and all that work I did is null and void because of it. When we argue, I might as well be arguing with a silly 14yrd online. She will not listen to what I have to say, and she will continue to not listen and overpower me with her voice. That will frustrate me, so in turn I start to raise my voice, and then she walks away, telling me I raised my voice first. She belittles my job, telling me I don't do shit there and I make puny hours, so therefore it's not a real job then. She'll never give me an ounce of encouragement or kindness, but rather gives me her grief, guilt and despair. It's wearing me out, and I really want to get out of this house. Unforunately, I have no way of doing that since, I don't make enough money to do that, and I don't have a car. Oh yes, and she tells me satan has a grip on me when I think differently about religion or when we have a heated argument, and the irony is...we have these arugments when she's watching her daily christian shows [Joyce Meyer, Creflo Dollar, Joel Olsteen]. She gets very angry during these shows, and I suffer because of it.

Overall, I dont think I have a good relationship with them. I don't like either of them. It saddens me, and it makes me wish I had a normal family with a Mom, Dad and Brother/Sister who are always there to talk with, and feel loved by all of them, and love them all back. You know, the perfect nuclear family. But I guess that's all a fantasy from TV, books and movies. I wish I had it though.

Jam it back in, in the dark.