Moving in with your significant other

If you had asked this question 2 years ago, I would have said that living together before marriage was a bad idea. After putting up with the cruel torture known as "roommates", I think that fiancee's should definitely live together before marriage.

First of all, you don't have to worry about combining 2 sets of furniture into one place while you're busy designing the wedding (unless you are only engaged for a couple of weeks). Secondly, you could develop a living style to suit both you and your partner so you won't be totally shocked during the rough early years of marriage. Sass was right about how it could make or break a relationship, which is why I think it's a good idea if you think you want to spend the rest of your lives together.

It's a very bad idea if you're not even engaged yet--unless you plan on never getting married, then there are exceptions--because there's not even a little bit of a guarantee that it could work out. There's no slight sign of promise and you come to the whole idea of what would happen when the relationship is over. Let's say you give away your apartment and live in the other person's apartment. What happens when the relationship turns sour? It's not like they will let you stay in the apartment for a few months while you look for another place to live. They normally--unless they are very sweet and understanding--want you out A.S.A.P. and their name is on the lease, not yours in some cases. Where are you going to stay? If you have a friend or family member that can take you in, then it's a little better than being tossed out onto the street.

I'm all for commited/fiancee's living together, but for those who have been together for a few months, they should think carefully about it. There's one exception where my best friend moved in with her boyfriend a few months into the relationship b/c she had been in multiple slapfights with her roommate, but they are now married and are happier than ever.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

It is a huge test in a relationship. It doesn't sound like a big deal, but when you h ave to work out money issues, living arrangements, and actually MELD the styles of living that each person has formed over time, you've got a potential a-bomb on your hands.

I totally agree. You may think you know someone until you move in with them. Things you take for granted such as having the thermostat set to a specific temperature or sleeping without any background noise can become the last straw on the camel's back when you haven't slept in a week b/c your significant other can't sleep without his favorite Eminem or Megadeath CD playing in order to drown out the eerie silence.

Originally Posted by ElectricSheep

People think to themselves "Well, I hang out with this person all of the time anyway...", but when you have to live with another person, you can't retreat from them. If you have a falling out, where are you going to go? You also get to know them in ways you never thought possible; all of the little nuances you never get to see when you are out hanging out.

I know what you mean. I had a couple of roommates that stayed in the room ALL THE TIME. I like my privacy, so when I had nowhere to retreat I started going insane and ended up doing things to them that I never though I would do to anyone.

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