Am I dumb for wishing I loved someone?

Originally Posted by Eleo

This is true, and I have considered this. However, that situation was different for reasons I actually can't bring myself to explain. But all in all, that time I really didn't know the guy as well as I could have.

The man I'm talking about now I pretty much know is a genuinely good person. I only feel this way because of the selfless things he does. For example, him saying I'm always welcome even if he has a boyfriend just says to me that he really cares about my well-being regardless of our relationship. I don't really doubt that about him, I'm mostly worried about tension.

You could be right. Last time I really had no idea what to expect but that is not the case. Then again, it took me a while to figure out that the guy was a dick, which made me realize that this can be true with anyone.

History tends to repeat itself very often with the only difference being that someone/something is different, but the events tend to fall the same. There are some scenarios where they do end up different, but most of the time you shouldn't expect to do the same thing and get different results.

I'm sort of in the same boat with a guy who got into a fight with his father about getting a hair cut. His father said, "Either you get a haircut or I'm taking away your car and internet." He went 5 months without the car or the internet (and lost his job in the process). He loves me very much and says that he will never find another girl like me, but he's a lazy bum with no future who would beat his kids and laugh while he did it (seriously, this is what he told me).

Frankly, I say wait it out. If you find someone better then good, if not then he will most likely be there if you two do decide to live together as friends. If he finds someone else, then don't worry about it and keep trying.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Eleo

Well how long should I wait it out? A few months? A year or more? I feel that there's sort of a window of opportunity. Certainly I'm always welcome but there's a point where saying "oh btw I want to live with you" will come off as weird. Like, "um, you didn't want to for this long but all of a sudden???" So I guess I feel I have to do it within the next six months or (hopefully) never. He may care about me, but that doesn't mean it's impossible for me to impose.

I'm no longer sure which direction this conversation is going.

There's no exact time limit, but if you still feel that you deserve more then there is probably more out there for you. If you feel as though this person is the one, true person for you and you want to be with them out of love instead of pity or guilt, then you could give it a chance. I know I waited b/c I had better opportunities: college, job outside of my redneck town, and my trip to England.

It's like "Deal or No Deal" and "Wammy" (I really do hate to use this as an example, but I think it works). Your future is unknown, there's still a chance that you can either get a better deal or end up worse off; but you have to weigh out the situation and decide whether you feel lucky and want to go for someone that is more deserving and can give you that rush you are looking for, or do you want to play it safe and end up one day finding out that you could've won a million if you had not settled for a hundred.

Don't decide yet, wait it out a little longer until you feel as though you know the definite answer. I think that you deserve to have that rush (and yes it does exist regardless of a past post, it just dies down as a couple becomes more comfortable with one another). I know I have a lot of trouble with patience, but patience could pay off in the end. However, it's your decision on what you think and feel is right.

There's nowhere I can't reach.