Blind Dates

I'm the only single female buddy of all of my friends. Everyone is either in a serious relationship or they are married/engaged with kids, and of course they associate me as the "poor kid who we should all help to find a date". So, I've been roped into a blind date that I won't be able to go on until at least September since the guy lives near my college.

The friend hasn't sent me a picture of the guy yet, but this is how she described him so far:

Quote:

*Into Gaming: He loves RPG games and he volunteers as a graphics designer for Illutia.

*Loves origami and even makes his own in shapes of Hagrid and Basilisk

*Helps my friend with story time at a local library (hence the Harry Potter origami) and she specifically says "he's good with kids"

*He's a "good guy" and is interested in finding a "romantic interest".

I gave this description to my other friends and they came up with this conclusion: "A desperate, obease computer geek who is probably very clingy and has low self-esteem." Looks are not as important as personality, but I'm not going to kiss someone that I couldn't stand to look at.

The guy knows what I look like, so I've asked her a couple of times for a picture of him. She told me that her camera broke after she got a picture of the guy and a couple of her new baby cousin, which I hope isn't related to the reason why the camera broke. Yes, I did the desperate detective search and searched Illutia and Facebook for him, but he's not on Facebook and there's no pictures of the staff on Illutia.

I'm sick and tired of getting stuck with nice guys that are so shocked to have someone as beautiful, witty, wise, and charismatic as me (this is their words, not mine folks), that they end up calling me/IMing me every single day and keeping me from my studies, friends, and work. Or they are the "nice guy" to everyone, but turn out to be creepy around me and keep asking me to do things that I would never do even to a very hot husband if I were to ever have a husband *shivers*.

I know that my friends may be wrong and I'm still going to meet the guy since I haven't been on an off-line date in over 4 years, but based on the description, do you think my friends are right? Am I doomed to yet another clingy guy that might freak out when he finds out I'm going to England? Should I send the friend another e-mail (she hasn't responded to the first one yet) asking to physically describe him, or would that be too much? Feel free to tell me your horror stories of blind dates, the last blind date I went on almost killed me b/c he was doing illegal drugs while driving.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by BlueEdge

Heh, not having been on a date yet, but yeah if the guy is clingy, tell you're busy. He'll probably stop messaging you as much as not to tick you off. Anyways, im shocked that the stalkers tool "Facebook" didn't work. I haven't used myspace or friendster, but would those work?

I have no idea if he has myspace or friendster. I have facebook, which is how he found my picture thanks to the mutual friend, but it turns out that he hasn't signed up for one. If the friend ever e-mails me back I might ask if he does.

Originally Posted by valiant

Simply go with it, read his mannerisms and rigorously quiz him (in a subtle manner) to determine if he is a creep, for I am curious how these dates of yours are able to get such information such as phone numbers/SN/etc.... Perhaps more caution should be considered?

Most of my dates know my friends, except for my on-line dates, so I can't exactly stop them from finding out the information if they ask my friends since they are normally mutual friends. On-line dates, which I haven't been in one in forever b/c that's where I mainly meet the creepy guys, don't know my number or anything, just my username.

I'm very lenient when it comes to looks, but I've only heard the behavioral aspect of him and I basically typed all I know about him in the first post. It makes me nervous that she would show him a picture of me and yet I don't even get a hint about what he looks like.

Originally Posted by x86

I'd like to know how your friends have reached their conclusion - they must be so smart. :doh:

LOL. The basic description of the friends are that none of them have graduate from high school, they are already engaged/married, and they OD on drugs so often that they don't have a steady job or a gaming console. I don't know if that gives you an idea about how they reached this conclusion, but you shouldn't take them too seriously. I try not to, but then I have those, "What if they're right?" episodes .

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Thanks for the replies so far. I used the opportunity to see if she had any information about my boss as a chance to see if she could describe what he looked like. I used the whole, "my friend thinks he might know him, but he only gave me a physical description and I had no idea what to say. Can you tell me what he looks like to see if he's right" explaination. It's been about 3 days since I sent that letter and about a week since I sent the letter before.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by Encephalon

The last time I went on a blind date it um... didn't work out too well...

I wouldn't rule it out completely if I were you, though. Even though in my experience blind dates are ordeals worthy of the 9th circle of Dante's Inferno, I have actually seen many a happy couple brought together by casual blind dates. I guess what I'm saying is: Give it a shot and if it doesn't work then move on to greener (and more intimately acquainted) pastures.

I see what you mean in your entry. Oh, and my friend finally sent me a couple of pictures of the guy.

http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b3...ure/loser1.jpg
http://i23.photobucket.com/albums/b3...ure/loser2.jpg

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by AliceNWondrland

What concerns me more than the child-eating grin on his face is the fact that he named his pictures "loser." Or was that your friend's name for the photos? Either way, that's a baaaaad sign. =/

LOL, I was more focused on his bug-eyed expression, but I agree with the smile. Um...I have no idea who named the photos. The expression I guess could be from the camera flash.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by valiant

Well the important thing is that it looks like he is trying. Come on, it could be a whole lot worse maybe he could be wearing a shirt far more baggier, he could have disheveled hair to the extent it looks like an afro, he IS wearing a watch (maybe for decoration or for telling time), overall it is pretty much a tossup...there might be more that meets the eye. Still is a little odd that you didn't get the pictures sooner while he did get pictures of you relatively quickly.

It is odd, I agree. I think it might be the camera flash that caused the expression. I'm still going to meet him to see how we connect personality wise since it is more important.

Originally Posted by Logan

From what I can tell, it sounds like

1) You're judging him too harshly too soon.

2) You're sounding kinda shallow. It's as if you judge all nice guys as either over-sensative or creepy stalkers.

I'm not saying that all guys are, but it's just from my personal experience that the nice guys that wanted to date me were mostly creepy or the kind of guy that was too clingy (not overly sensitive). I've met nice guys that seemed really awesome, but one dumped me after 4 years while he was cheating on me with another man and a few others were already dating someone/were not looking.

Quote:

Blind dates are one thing, but personality takes the cake. You can be with the best looking guy/girl around, but if he's a jerk, there's no point.

Me? I consider myself a "nice guy." OH NOES! RED FLAG!

Actually, I loathe the jerks. They were all over my high school and we had an understanding: we hated each other.

Quote:

However, I'm perfectly satisfied with my looks. I may play games and watch anime and such, but that hardly makes me an ugly, creepy guy. I think I look pretty good considering the "anime/gamer stereotype" and I certainly don't stalk. As for the whole "I'm lucky to have a girl like you" thing, thats called modesty. I don't know if arrogance is a turn-on for you or not, but I know a lot of girls would say no to someone who acted like he can get any pretty girl to fall at his feet.

I apologise for sounding all flame-ish, but I just felt it needed to be said. Long story short, "Don't judge a book by its cover." Harry Potter? Yeah...I made fun of it...until I read it.

It's cool. I'm not mad or anything, I think the way I worded some of the posts it makes me sound a little cold-hearted. I just haven't had the best luck with dates (cheaters, money grubbers, someone who drove while he was extremely high, etc.) so it was more ranting rather than my view about all nice men. I like nice men, it's just hard for me to find one that's available.

It's not just the whole "I'm lucky to have a girl like you" thing that affects me. I don't mind that, it's when the guy starts calling every night and talks for 2-3 hours and believes if I talk to another male friend--which I have to keep my sanity--they get extremely upset. I'm in college, I can't afford to spend 2-3 hours every night when I have 2 jobs, homework, and other projects. I would love to spend some time with him, but I need a guy that has a life outside of a relationship and doesn't just waste time so he could talk to me (which happened in a couple of past relationships). I know it sounds like some women's ideal guy, but seriously, the whole "I have no friends to hang out with, I already did all my homework, I just watch television until I can call you at 9 p.m." thing is sort of like a guilt noose.

I like gamers. Guys of all different weights are great in their own way. I like guys with dark hair and with an IQ higher than mustard. I'm just a little skeptical about blind dates. I like giving them a chance, but I do a little skepticism along the way (who doesn't). I'm more into personality than looks, even though personality does hold some importance (I don't know a single person who would date someone they find repulsive). It's an odd time right now and I was expecting something worse since the friend shown him my picture right away but she was very hesitant about sending his picture to me.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Logan

Actually, I know where you're coming from. My last girlfriend was like that. I wanted some time alone but she was too clingly. She was a sweetheart and we're still friends, but it just didn't work out romantically. However, we lasted 14 months, but that was plenty of time to get to know the real person you were dating.

I've been single ever since though and I'm still seeking. It's just that the type of girl I like is always unavailable, or a lesbian >.>

One clingy guy and I are still buddies as well, but he stopped the calls b/c his phone was disconnected and now he's trying to triple major (German, Spanish, and History). I understand about the lesbian thing since my campus is 40% male and 20% of those are homosexual and most of those numbers are within my major--Communications--or Theatre.

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by Denicalis

Am I the only one that notices Vis uses lines like "I'm sick and tired of getting stuck with nice guys that are so shocked to have someone as beautiful, witty, wise, and charismatic as me" and slags on that guy (albeit with good reason) and yet we don't know what she looks like? For all we know, she's some fucking sea hag lambasting this guy.

Did you perhaps not read the part in parenthesis that said that was what the other guys said about me? Besides, my comments have not been nearly has harsh as the others on the forum.

Originally Posted by Storm Petrel

Well don't be so hard on her Denicalis, meanwhile, who don't you post a picture of yourself Visavi?

Because regardless of what SOME people believe (not you), I don't have a camera that I use to take constant pictures of myself. I'll ask my friend if she will send me the picture she sent the guy and then I'll post it A.S.A.P.

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Originally Posted by Gechmir

Didn't you say you had a picture of yourself on Facebook that was shown to him?

Well, we don't care for other guys' opinions =p I could tell you Bea Arthur is a drop-dead gorgeous gal through personal opinion, but that sure as shit doesn't mean everyone should promptly agree by proxy, and she should be on the cover of Glamour magazine the following week.

And no, I don't find Bea Arthur attractive

I used to, but I read an article on a local news site about faculty and future employers who take facebook photo's too seriously. My account is completely empty now and I got the picture from her (she was throwing a party and I was hold a Corona for a prank photo). I have to ask her to send me the photo. Actually, I think I'll see if she can send me the photo with a close-up shot just in case.

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Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Encephalon

You know, one time I had a car salesman come into my office and gave me a photo of himself that I can only assume was at a family gathering or barbecue. He was just standing with a Corona in his hand and the first thing he told me was, "Put this picture on my business card, but blur out the bottle of Corona; everybody's gonna think I'm a drunk."

LOL, I go to a very Christian college that's trying to expel a guy b/c one of his profiles said that he was gay. The guy is trying to sue the college for a full-tuiton scholarship elsewhere. Don't know if that's possible.

I apologize for the flash in the photo, but here it is: Side View

Also, the person told me it was going to be a group meeting at first, so that helps to relax the nerves of blind dating. I'm going to meet him and talk to him to see what kind of personality and aura surrounds him (I think he's a bit nervous as well). Then, I will go from there. However, she told me the meeting may not be until September, so I'm thinking about closing the thread in a few days and posting the event in my sad excuse for a journal.

P.S. My hair is a little longer now.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Thanks for the comments. I'm going to close the thread and I'll probably write something in my signature about when the blind date occurs. Thanks again.

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