The "Line"

Originally Posted by a_licenwondrland

I married my cousin, although he's not a close cousin, and it's not as big a deal as people make it out to be. It's very common in many cultures to marry a relative.

I'm probably going to get flamed for this, but here's my "line": I wouldn't date anyone of another race or religion. There are just too many cultural differences, and marriage is hard enough without all the disagreements that would arise as a result of being raised in such different environments.

WHAT. THE. FUCK?

You know, I think you're a swell gal and all, but this really pisses me off. You just ASSUME that because someone is of a different skin-colour, that they don't know all the "white" traditions?

We darkies don't live in our own little reservations, certainly not in Europe anyway. I can only speak for the UK but it'd be hard to find a "ghetto" here. We have to mix and be a part of the dominant culture and the vast majority of us know all there is to know about the countries we are in, especially people who are second/third generation and pretty much totally Westernised.

Now, you might assume because of your limited contact (or bad experiences) with non-progressive minorities, that they are inflexible and close-minded, but that's not always the case. Conflict on the tiniest details? Would you even consider marrying/dating someone like that anyway? Of course you wouldn't, because you'd be able to tell from a very early stage if someone was so rabidly fanatical about their "traditions" that it would cause disharmony further down the line.

You could just have said "I am more attracted to white guys" and I would find that perfectly acceptable. I, for example, haven't encountered a single Asian female in my life that I could tolerate.

I don't know how it is for people down there, but in my opinion, you can SCREW the family and its beliefs; if you are in love with someone, you're marrying that person, and to hell with whoever stands in your way or tries to enforce their cultural differences on you.

Don't assume we are all the same with a preconceived notion of what minorities are like, when you clearly haven't seen the full spectrum; obviously you haven't, otherwise you wouldn't say such a thing.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Tama8-chan

And Ulysses....


That sounds awfully like you're telling your partner to totally abandon their family and/or beliefs just because YOU don't like them.
Last I checked, that's not a really easy thing to do.
Being someone's partner means that you ACCEPT who they are, who their family is, and what their beliefs are.
That statement just makes you sounds very ignorant.

Well you could hardly be more wrong, then. I'm saying that if it came down to the wire, and you loved each other enough, you'd have to face a choice, right? It's a choice I will inevitably have to make myself actually, and i'll probably lose the acceptance of my family in the process. If a family doesn't like your choice of partner for GOOD, VALID reasons, then they'd have a point. I am talking about blind discrimination/racism, that isn't really justifiable but which remains a common thing especially in the older members of families.

I don't think she is a racist either, but that she may still have the wrong views, or at the very least not a total view of things. Like we all do to a varying degree. I'm just a little sensitive about things like this, especially being a victim of racism in the past. Rubs me the wrong way.

EDIT: Oh yeah and Tama8-chan, i'm not talking about orientals; here in Britain Asians refer to people from the Indian sub-continent. So no, I wasn't insulting the women you prefer :P.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

If you can get along with people of differing beliefs just fine as friends, why not as a partner too? I realise there's more involved, and you can always stop being friends with someone as you don't have kids with them etc, but friends can still grow to be pretty damn close.

I think what we consider to be bad is that you assumed when you were younger that such conflicts were very likely to arise and so indirectly are judging that these people are somehow not fit to get married to someone like you. As I have said to you in the past, people can and do adapt and aren't all fanatically pro their own culture/religion. The assumption that conflicts will definitely arise is basically erroneous.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I think she is meaning, statistically-speaking...right?

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Yeah, I know what you're saying. I can see it now: "Grounds cited for divorce: 'Husband won't eat shrimp'."

I was speaking idiomatically.