Abusive Relationships

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I disagree. It's a lot harder to hurt someone with words than it is with physical violence.

This really depends on the self-esteem of the person the words are about/directed at. Since you're not very self-consious, it may be difficult for you to understand this.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Mental abuse is just a bunch of bullshit if you ask me.

Your forgetfulness/ignorance floors me at times. You aren't everyone, Sass.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Calling people BAD NAMES.

Trust me, there are many more ways to insult people than simple name calling. Along with what wvlfpvp mentioned, it can range from anything from character attacks to lack of interest.

Have you ever been in an abusive relationship?

Mental abuse is really only effective if the person the comments are about has a shitty self-esteem. Being that they already feel bad about themself, it's pretty obvious that they stay in the relationship because of this. (Basically, they feel like they're not gonna find anyone else, and some is better than none.)

On the flip side, the abusive person usually thinks the same way. They know that most people won't stick around for that shit, so they feel it's better to stay with the person that does allow it than to risk being alone because no one else with put up with it.

There is a degree of mental abuse in physically abusive relationships, too. Fear isn't a positive thing, and living with someone you fear can't be too encouraging, either.

(Suck it, soapy.)

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

I'll never get the emphasis on mental abuse. You LITERALLY can not be mentally abused if you just DON'T LISTEN to bullshit.

lol

You seem to be using yourself as the standard by which you measure everyone else. You're not wrong, but not everyone is like you.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Yea dude. Totally. People should try to be more like me. The more, the better. ^_^

In this particular aspect, I think being more like you would be a good thing.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

But seriously. Don't you think that listening to a bunch of angry bullshit out of your loved one's mouth is CRAP? Yea, okay, so it hurts if someone says something REALLY MEAN to you. About O GOD ITS ALL YOUR FAULT our kid is OBESE.

Of course. Unfortunately, some people follow their emotions instead of logic.

Originally Posted by soniclover

Anyways, I know a girl who actually fights with her boyfriend to express their anger. They both hit each other (she had some nasty marks on her) and beat the anger out of each other. She was actually fine with it too. I guess they both didn't care about getting their anger out with physical violence.

Anyone who attacks (physically or mentally) an innocent bystander should get some treatment for it. I don't care what they say, that isn't healthy.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by soniclover

Bystander? It's not like that. They just hit each other and are both fine with that.

Ask ANY counselor, therapist, psychiatrist or psychologist if that's normal or healthy. I guarantee they'll say "it's not".

Originally Posted by soniclover

I'm pretty sure there's more relationships like this now though. People have a harder time talking things out.

Sure there are relationships like this, but that's why therapists and the like exist. They sort of act as referees so people can talk.

Usually people who have "hard time talking" actually have a hard time listening. They end up repeatedly interupting eachother and one gets fed up and attacks the other person. (Could be physically or mentally.)

You might wanna suggest counseling to your friend.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by soniclover

When I mention stuff like that to her, she just laughs.

Somethings just need to be solved by that person (If they want to solve it). You can't change a person if they don't want to change their ways.

Of course. I said "suggest", not "force".

She'll probably get help eventually, tho. No one is happy with someone that hits them or someone that pisses them off enough to make them want to hit them.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Manis Tricuspis

"Hey doctor, we have devised a perfectly functional way of resolving our differences"

"NO THAT'S NOT ALLOWED ONLY RAINBOWS AND HUGGING ARE ALLOWED"

Shut the fuck up.

So you'd stick around with a chick who hit you? You think it's ok for a dude to beat his chick?


Okaaaayyyy...

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by Manis Tricuspis

You shouldn't hit someone who cannot reasonably be expected to mount a capable counterattack. Beyond that, why not? If both parties are in roughly equivalent states of physical fitness, then both of them will be injured to roughly the same degree.

From what Sass is describing, you guys have spats, not full-on fist fights. I don't see a big deal in that, I guess. I can also see a common understanding within it, too.

Sometimes you can get your point across without such accessive sarcasm. Ask Sass.

FELIPE NO