I get shit from some of my female friends because they want me to dress girly. But like I told my roommate, I love nifty T-shirts like most girls love shoes (including my roomie, who has boxes and boxes of shoes). That said, I have a few very nifty ones, like a Tommy Hilfiger (ugh...normally don't like him) shirt that has a rampant lion on it, but the entire shirt is bisected so it's two different-colored shirts stitched together.
For witty comments, I have one that says "Bayou Bob's Gator Giggin' and Artificial Limb Sales -- 10% discount on first lost limb"

.
Jam it back in, in the dark.