Odd

I've been feeling rather strange for a long time now.

For quite a few years now I've had this horrible feeling that I'm being watched. It cycles; sometimes I can put it to the back of my mind, but when I am stressed and tired, as I have been to the extreme recently, it can get unbearable. Since I was about 12 or so, I had issues with my parents being near me, whether they hugged me or even brushed past me. It felt like I had been touched by ice. This never really bothered me before but the past couple of years it has begun to get steadily worse.

Now it's not just my parents that this happens with, but everyone. I get worried that people are trying to read my thoughts if they are in the same room as me or in my vicinity, not just through physical contact. On days when it is particualy bad I will not go into town because there are so many people and it feels like they are all watching me or trying to take the thoughts out of my head, and it's really freaking me out. Sometimes I can't even be by myself and think normally because I am compelled to force my thoughts to song lyrics or to my surroundings, as I feel like someone is listening to me. It's not just my thoughts either; sometimes it feels as though there is someone else looking through my eyes and watching what I am doing.

I'm also having trouble believing anything actually exists, but that's a whole different kettle of fish.

Any advice much appreciated.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Kazyl

Anyway, when you say your parents brushed past you and it felt like ice, are you trying to say that they were cold and unaffectionate, or you literally felt cold in terms of temperature?

It is more a kind of shudder that goes through me, and I feel cold where they have touched me. It's almost like it spreads through my body from the point they touched me. As far as I've noticed, it's never been that they were cold and unaffectionate.

Originally Posted by Mojougwe

This sounds like one of those 'The world doesn't revolve around you' type of ordeals. Though, my aim is not to insult you, I do intend to try and find some way of helping you. Now, it seems like you've been experiencing some sort of paranoia. Are you by any chance fearful of the other people around you? Or are you just threatened by the fact you think everyone's attention is directed at you for some strange reason?

You say it has become a 'horrible feeling.'

It's kind of a mix of both really. It feels horrible because it's as if the whole world is looking at me, and it's so intense that it's' unbearable. I do really mundane things or think other thoughts to try and divert attention from myself. I feel threatened, but not in a physical sense. I feel like everyone I know is trying to use me for a laugh at their expense.

Originally Posted by Cobra Commander

I agree that it just sounds like more of a paranoia issue, I have um too. When it affects me the most is when I am anywhere like a mall or crowded area by myself (no friends are with me at the time) I always feel like the people around me are looking down on me saying "Man, look how pathetic he must be, couldn't even get one person to hang out with um"

I get that feeling so much, but it's as if the people looking at me are trying to indicate that they know a lot about me, I feel very threatened. Sometimes I feel like people are going to attack me, but I guess that's understandable with some stereotypes.

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by Pez

I don’t like to jump to conclusions, but judging by the descriptions you give in your first post (duration of symptoms, thought reading/stealing, negative behaviour) lead me to think that you might have a mild (functional) form of paranoid schizophrenia.

I am especially worried by the following statement of yours:
In short, I think it would be of valu if you sought professional help in order to get properly assessed.

Wow, um... I guess a doctor's appointment couldn't hurt.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.