I can definitely sympathize with most of these.
Most of the time I'm insanely lazy. Once in a great while some insane bug hits me and I just go crazy and spend most of the day cleaning up my room and getting back organized. It's nice to actually get that once in awhile though. Of course, by the time the next week rolls around its back to the state it was in before, and stays that way for a few months =/
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2. I am addicted to my computer. I never want to leave it. When I am away from it for more than maybe 24 hours I get really agitated and can no longer enjoy myself.
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Same here. In extenuating circumstances I've been able to stay away for more than 24 hours, but I have to be very active doing a ton of other stuff. Other times, just going to 3 hours of straight classes is enough to start making me antsy.
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3. I am capable of being very heartless and cruel.
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I generally don't let this show, but the stuff you mentioned, yeah. Community service? WHY? I mean yeah, I'm glad there are the types that will do that sort of stuff, but I'm not one of them. Lately this part of me has shrunken, I'm not really happy or sad about it though =/.
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4. Very cynical. I have like 0 optimism regarding most things, and rarely see the bright side of anything. I only see what is wrong. As an atheist I look at life as being pretty much just absurd, I often question my reason for living.
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I'm not quite that bad, I'm more of a realist, which is just half a step away from a pessimist. I generally see the bad side of things bec
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5. I really don't give a damn about my own family.
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This is the only place where I'd have to differ with you
. But probably your family experience is a lot different than mine, which might account for this. There were times where I absolutely hated my family but for awhile now I've really appreciated them.
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As you can see pretty much all of these qualities make me up to be pretty much just a super-pessimistic and apathetic dude. I suck ass as a person. The thing is, I would never want to date someone like this. I would not want to see these qualities in someone else. But then, what kind of good person would see these qualities in me and love me despite them?
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I don't think you should give up complete hope in this department. I've met several people that have hooked up with people that just make me think...wtf, mate? But more often than not it actually works out.
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But like the person above said, you probably just like being alone. I'm one of those types....sure, I guess I'd enjoy a relationship, I've met a few girls, but I'm just a lot happier alone. I guess my chemistry is just that f'd up =/.
But if you are happy being alone, just acknowledge that and try to live from there. It's helped me be happier.
There's plenty of people who just aren't happy in any sort of romantic relationship, so you are hardly unique in this matter.
Jam it back in, in the dark.
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