[Movie] [Your] Top Ten Worst Movies of 2007

I'm sure a few entries on my list will piss a few people off, but oh well. I don't see alot of bad movies, so here are the top 10 worst just in terms of score and rank on my 2007 list (copypasta'd from facebook):

10. Into The Wild (7.5/10)
I can appreciate why it's such a moving picture, but it didn't move me for this primary reason - They made the audience feel bad for the parents, one of the catalysts for Chris' sudden life upheaval.

The whole story is essentially about this one kid turning his life around, and bringing happiness wherever he goes. How am I supposed to connect with this kid when he brings sorrow onto his parents? Sure, they wronged him, but they're his PARENTS. And it's not like they beat the shit out of him or anything. They loved him, they just didn't know how to be parents.

Other than that, this movie is extremely well-made. I hope it gets a nod for best cinematography, because it's absolutely breathtaking. The photography shifts from beautiful, sharp, and vividly colorful wilderness landscapes where Chris feels happy, to muted, desaturated, and otherwise flat tones of the society that Chris is abandoning. It's really well-handled in a subtle but striking way.

Performances were top notch from everybody. Even Vince Vaughn, who I dislike, was awesome in this. Eddie Vedder handles the music brilliantly as well, which was a nice surprise being a Pearl Jam fan and all.

So overall, I liked it alot, and appreciated that it was well-made and moving, but I personally couldn't draw sympathy from the experience as a whole. There are some incredibly touching segments throughout, but the thing with the parents really hurt it for me.

9. The Darjeeling Limited (7.5/10)
Not bad, but not nearly as good as his previous work. Didn't really feel for any of the characters the way I've felt for Max Fischer, Royal Tenenbaum, or Steve Zissou. There was some real funny stuff, but overall it lacked the emotional gut-punch that Anderson is known for. It has a strong emotional center, and some pretty serious stuff at the end, but the lack of truly great characters makes it less impactful.

Like most of his movies, Darjeeling is incredible to look at. Probably his most visually appealing movie to date. As always, the soundtrack is equally incredible and lends itself to the narrative quite a bit.

Overall I was disappointed, but it was still a great flick.

8. Ghost Rider (7/10)
If you go into Ghost Rider expecting anything other than Ghost Riding, then you'll be sorely disappointed. He's a flaming skeleton on a motorcycle! I had fun!

7. I Am Legend (6.5/10)
Actually not as terrible as I thought it was going to be, in the sense that I was able to sit through it without groaning or rolling my eyes.

Production values are through the roof. You can tell they spent a good deal of their money on making New York a desolate wasteland, and it looks flawless. I didn't bat an eye even once at the CG work on New York.

However, the same cannot be said for the dreadful CG vampires, or as my friend Rory calls them, Grandpires. They look like a bunch of fucking old men, and they take all the scariness out of the bleak and creepy atmosphere.

While we're on the topic of the vampires, or "dark seekers," their entire existence is somewhat of a unexplained mystery. The virus kills like 99% of the population, but this small bunch of people became rage-infected zombies? Please. This worked better in 28 Days Later.

Structurally, the movie is extremely weird. Nothing really happens in the first 2/3 of the film, but that's the best part of the movie. The last third of the movie felt kinda disjointed, and I almost feel like plot point 2 should have been plot point 1, or just not happened at all. It's weird, it just felt like a completely different movie at that point.

Will Smith, who I am normally not a fan of, did a great job in this film, and he carried the role well. Other than that, the movie really didn't do much for me. It didn't move me much, or impact me. Decent movie, neutral experience.

6. Spider-Man 3 (6.5/10)
Craptastic. I didn't think it would be possible to botch a villian as cool as Venom, but they did it. *sigh*

5. Halloween (5/10)
Not the absolute piece of shit people hyped it up to be, but extremely disappointing given how truly great the first part of the movie is. What sucks is that the second part is so shitty that it then completely ruins and contradicts the first part.

I'll give Zombie credit - He managed to give a faceless killer a face, the problem is, he took the face away right as it was getting good, and truly freaky. There was a wealth of potential for this movie to be a real great and original re-envisioning of the classic original, but it is bastardized as soon as Michael escapes from the asylum.

What made Michael so scary in the original is that he was just this huge bastard going around killing people for no reason. The problem with this remake is just that - He still has no motive, but it's less scary because we're led to think he SHOULD have a motive. The first part is excellent because he does have a reason to kill his family when he's a kid, but he doesn't have a reason to do any more killing after that. He needed more development, and I can't fathom why Zombie didn't see that.

Overall, great performances (young Michael was fantastic), great first half, above-average writing, and then shitty, movie-ruining second half.

4. The Mist (3.5/10)
Wow, I truly did not like this movie.

Where do I begin... Well, I think my distaste for this movie stemmed from one singular moment, and that was when we first see one of the monsters. I instantly lost interest for a variety of reasons. One, because it looked stupid and un-scary. Two, because the CG was terrible. Three, because the characters showed just how braindead they were and would continue to be throughout the rest of the film. Our characters showed a staggering amount of stupidity in this movie on numerous occasions, and thus, brought me level of caring down to absolute zero.

The CG was grossly overused. It's a horror movie, LESS IS ALWAYS MORE. This is a shining example of that principle being tossed out the window. ESPECIALLY when your CG looks this hackneyed, the last thing you want to do is glorify and it show it for too long. For a movie whose central plot essentially revolves around fear of the unknown, it certainly did a great job of making the unknown more known. It unfortunately didn't pay off, since every bit of CG in the film looked stupid, and thus, gave me something to laugh at instead of something to fear.

Not one character was empathetic. I didn't care for any of them, or their fates. They showed how stupid they were early on and their stupidity kept right on going to the bitter end. The twist ending, while decently cool, was ruined for me because of, once again, blatant stupidity on the characters' part. The movie felt like a bunch of idiots getting what they deserved.

EDIT: I totally forgot to bitch about this part. Worst of all beyond all of this nonsense I've already discussed, the main source of conflict, Mrs. Carmody, was an absolute joke. From her first words on screen, you just want her to shut the fuck up. She's incredibly hatable (as she should be), but she's hatable to the point where she's just a walking parody. Religious lunacy turned up to 11. We get the point that she's a nut the first time she speaks, but the filmmakers decide to keep her mouth running about the same crap over and over and over again. It's relentless and annoying. It's just shit.

On top of these issues, I really hated how it was shot and edited. Cinematographically, it was a weird style of handheld plus some weird zooming that felt like pan and scan. It took me out of the movie instead of engaging me. Editing wise, again, the CG was on screen way too long, and some shots held for too long in general. Mrs. Carmody was on screen for way too long at many points. The editing was spotty at best, and the movie as a whole could have been a half hour shorter.

What did I like about it? There was some good gore, some light moments of humor, and... Well, I guess that's it. If seeing a bunch of idiots argue over the same topic over and over again for 2 hours is your cup of tea, go see this movie. If you like good movies, avoid it.

3. Across The Universe (3.5/10)
Ugh. I wanted to like this movie so much. I really did. It's such a cool concept, and the trailer showed off some real cool visuals and gave me hope for a stellar Beatles-themed movie. What it was, however, was a meandering mess of a movie that seemed to exist for the sole purpose of putting a shitload of great Beatles songs into one movie, regardless of how well said movie would hold together.

Story? Don't bother. Characters? Not important. Conflict and resolution? Arbitrary.

I'll be the first to admit that the visuals were mostly stunning. Some of the scenes (bowling scene, Prudence's intro, Max's recruitment) were spellbinding. They were executed with military precision, and were a blast to watch, especially with the cool songs playing over them.

But that's where the fun stopped. There was so much filler. So much useless crap. So much illogical garbage that I stopped to question logic numerous times. GRANTED, logical narrative is not the point of the film, but the point for me is, I was taken out of the film more than I was into it, and that's the one thing a director should always try to avoid. I was totally sucked into the parts that were the least serious, while the parts that tried to be serious I couldn't have cared less about.

While I like the Beatles, I'm not a diehard fan. Because of that, the movie felt like an enormous inside joke that I wasn't a part of, and instead of welcoming me into it's inner circle, it rejected me and said "figure this out on your own, fag." This movie essentially called me a fag throughout it's unbearably long runtime. I haven't cared so little about a movie in a long time. What a bummer. I really wanted to like this.

2. 300 (3/10)
It's like everything was pulled from a stock CD full of Hollywood clichés. Horrifically stale characters, relationships, and plotlines. 300 is a throwaway "epic" that relies on violence, manliness, and gimmicks to impress the dull-minded masses.

1. Transformers (1/10)
Piece of shit in every way except for the awesome CG. Takes the foundation of filmmaking (the screenplay) and throws it away in favor of CG, action, and pushing merchandise. An absolute train wreck.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Deni Deni Deni...

Originally Posted by sprouticus

I'm sure a few entries on my list will piss a few people off, but oh well. I don't see alot of bad movies, so here are the top 10 worst just in terms of score and rank on my 2007 list

I didn't flat-out hate Darjeeling, it just didn't impress me as much as his other ones, and in general I didn't find it to be as full an experience as other movies. It probably would have been bumped out of the list if I had caved in and wasted money on movies I anticipated to be shitty like Beowulf.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Quote:

you expecting it to not be mostly cgi sequences is like going to a musical and bitching about it having singing, it was inevitable.

Doesn't mean the movie has to suck ass. What kind of movie-watching society are we when we can excuse a film for being a piece of shit and still throw our hard-earned money at it? Fuck that noise. That movie was an abomination on all accounts.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

I don't know how anyone could think a sequel to Elizabeth would be anything more than a pile of excrement.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?