 85241 |
 35212 |
|
|
||
|
|
|||||||
| Welcome to the Exploding Garrmondo Weiner Interactive Swiss Army Penis. |
|
GFF is a community of gaming and music enthusiasts. We have a team of dedicated moderators, constant member-organized activities, and plenty of custom features, including our unique journal system. If this is your first visit, be sure to check out the FAQ or our GFWiki. You will have to register before you can post. Membership is completely free (and gets rid of the pesky advertisement unit underneath this message).
|
 |
|
|
Thread Tools |
 Member 4590 Level 13.98 Apr 2006 
|
Hm. That's some awfully morose stuff. I have some feedback:
I implore you to write some stuff without rhyming. English is such a shitty language for rhyming in poetry. That it can often ruin your intent, especially when you make that a standard mode of your writing. Of course, there are sonnets and villianelles which emply rhyming. Also, are the legacy of kain ones written by you or are they from the game? Also: I'm not the One who bore you. the 'bore' adjective seems to go against the meaning of "the goddess that you make me out to be" why would being a goddess bore the person / him? Jam it back in, in the dark.  In your dreams, magical thoughts All things are real, unless you dream they're not
|
Aquas