Your most memorable FAILURE at cooking (v.2)

Originally Posted by valiant

When I was cooking typical mac and cheese from a stove...I poured water in and sat around (played video games or something...waiting for it to boil). Ended up forgetting about it and the water vanished *gasp!* (turned to steam after leaving it on the stove for too long T-T)

LOL, you burned water too, ne? I managed to ruin the pot as a result of deciding to play a little FFVIII after setting the water to boil. Little meaning a full hour or so.

This wasn't exactly my fault, but I stillshould've known better. I once decided it might be a good idea to teach my little brother to make clam chowder. I gave him very specific instructions, stressed to him the importance of not leaving the pot for any period of time, then went outside to feed the animals. We lived quite literally on a farm, so this task took about 15 minutes. When I returned, I was greeted by the scent of blackened clam chowder, and the sight of my brother playing Megaman X2. I haven't had any faith in him whatsoever ever since.

Again, not really my fault, but still...
My mom decided to bake some chicken in the oven. Unfortunately, the oven was missing a pan to catch the grease at the bottom, where the only heating units were located (this was an old-ass oven, mind you). My mom put sheets of aluminum foil at the bottom to remedy the situation. I considered suggesting we put them on the 2nd, lower rack, but decided not to. She started the oven and the timer, then went to take a nap, telling me to wake her when the buzzer went off. So I sat and waited, waited even when I smelled smoke coming out, waited even when I saw small grease fires erupting in the oven. Waited until the timer buzzed, and woke my mother. When she saw the gray, ashen pieces of chicken, she asked why I hadn't woken her up. I replied that she told me to wake her up when the buzzer went off. Oh, what a good boy was I.

Just tonight was something that I doubt I'll ever forget. It was my turn to cook dinner for my roomates (read: for the 7th time in a row), so I went with Rice a Roni with cheese sauce and sliced hot dogs. Just like mac n cheese, only with rice. So I boiled the rice up, then added the cheese sauce. After stirring the mix, I noticed some little dark bits in the sauce, which I took for herbs, as Rice a Roni tends to have those. So, I finish cooking, announce the meal's readiness, and dish some up for myself and return to my room. As I am sitting, browsing these very forums, I hear an exclamation from the kitchen and my name being called. I enter and ask what's wrong. One word. "Bugs!" Yes, ladies and gentlemen, those dark flecks were not in fact seasoning, but little tiny insects. Upon further inspection of the cupboard, it is revealed that there were quite a few boxes of food that had been infested by the little critters, which we believe to be tiny, possibly infant cockroaches. At this point I sat down and started feeling sick. You see, I was very hungry. So hungry, in fact, that I had already finished my plate of food. All of it. I had even licked my plate clean.
Words cannot possibly convey to you how unnerved I am right now.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by elwe

Oh. :shh: That was shuddertastic. I'm sure that I'll freak out at the slightest hint of a speck now!


None of my horrible experiences were absolutely terrible, but I'll share a few anyways!

Not too long ago, I decided to make Spanish rice from scratch. After leaving it in the skillet for five minutes to simmer, I smelled something burning. Well, I checked the rice, and the entire bottom was completely burnt. Oops.


And then there was the biscuit incident! I threw a leftover biscuit (Popeyes!) into the microwave on high power for 2 minutes. Now, the biscuit came out fine, if not a little cold, the last billion times I did that. This time, however, I'm sure it started smoldering. The entire biscuit took on an unearthly and pasty shade of gray, and black wisps of smoke starting coming out. I threw the biscuit into a tub of water, and the water turned amber brown. The smell, I should add, was atrocious.

Well, I'm still alive. If anything, it's probably just a little more protein in my diet. And that biscuit incident reminds me of one time when I tried to heat up some french bread. If it's a little dry, the trick is to rub a little water on it and put it in the oven for about a minute. Well, I was impatient, and decided to use the mircowave. Long story short, the outside looked fine, but smoke was leaking out from the center. I tossed it into the sink and blasted the water before the thing could ignite. All in all, pretty entertaining in retrospect.

There's nowhere I can't reach.