Wisdom Teeth!

Mine were all half-impacted or something, and my mouth was generally very crowded, even after having four other teeth removed. Actually, getting my wisdoms out was easier than having my others removed. Those teeth were next to my canines--fucking annoying place for bloody gaps! I could barely eat because I had to keep the gauze in place. Not to mention they only came out two at a time, so I had to go through the procedure twice. And the procedure itself was just bizarre--a couple needles in my gums and one in the roof of my mouth, and some 6'8" surgeon digging into my gums and cracking my teeth--all pressure, no pain. I actually like oral pain; I'm Bill Murray in Little Shop of Horrors.

Anyway, my wisdom teeth were a breeze. I little prick in the arm, count backwards...99, 98, 97....zzzz....I woke up on a little bench outside the room. They gave me vicodin which I used for a day then hoarded. There was very little bleeding and virtually no pain. It was probably the smoothest operation anyone could hope for.

Jam it back in, in the dark.