The Chronicles of Narnia: Prince Caspian

Danielle, Sarah and I saw this last night and, to whit, here is a list of plot elements this movie rips off and we were forced to make fun of:

Spoiler:

• trees that come alive and attack the bad guys (The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers)
• dudes with really fancy masks, thick, pointed goatees and inescapably greater numbers of troops, and a botched offensive that ends on a bunch of guys being annihilated by overhead arrows (300)
• nerdy kids wearing English school uniforms (in fairness, this has little to do with the Harry Potter books but it is worth noting anyway)
• EAGLES (LotR: Return of the King)
• a river comes up and washes away the bad guys, plus a separate running-away-through-the-forest,-ha-ha,-bad-guys-can't-get-past-the-river scene, during which we obligated to say, "If you want her, come and claim her!" and having PERFECT timing (LotR: The Fellowship of the Ring)
• a group of people sandwiched by two groups of people and forced to go over a bridge when everybody in the theater knows they really shouldn't (Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom)

That's all I can think of right now. In fairness, if these movies came out before most of the more recent movies I mentioned repeatedly, I'd be saying the same about them. But these plot elements, along with the $10.25 admissions price, really distracted me from the storyline and kind of cemented in my mind that Hollywood is running out of ideas. Apparently they think (as if I'm just catching on to this) that if something is part of a franchise that is successful and popular -- and, yes Sass, I would consider $291.7M to be a successful movie -- they can just release another movie without making it very good and having it rake it hundreds of millions of dollars. Which is why I hope for the best with the new Indy movie.

As for a rating, we sat through it and it wasn't bad for a while, but when the second half of the movie came around and Lord of the Rings started playing we could only laugh at the lack of creativity. Susan Pevensie was hot (a female Legolas character in a bodice ) and she's 19 IRL so I'm not a pedophile for saying so, but

Spoiler:

the romance between her and Prince Caspian was some of the worst shit I've ever seen in my life. They speak no more than 20 words to each other through the whole movie, but their eyes do so much talking I think there should have been more blinking to simulate lips moving.

I'd say 6/10.

P.S.: I almost forgot. A few people (and by a few I mean a few) in the back of the theater started clapping, so my joke was "(while clapping) Oh God that movie was so excellent I'm about to shit an Oscar! Oh, the mouse #1 deserves an Oscar for Best Supporting Actor...here, let me shit one out!"

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