I suck at dealing with girls...

Ok, so this really cute girl I work with broke up with her boyfriend about 2 months ago. I really like her but right now, she doesn't want to date anyone. Heck she had to reject like 10 guys within a week of breaking up with her boyfriend. Now I know that if ever, I'm probably not gonna have a chance with her anytime soon.

But seriously, how do you approach a situation like this? I mean it's not like she's going to announce to the world when she's finally ready to start dating again. The last time a girl I liked broke up with her boyfriend, she kept saying she wasn't over him for months. Then oneday, BAM! She had a new boyfriend.

Right now, I've just been trying to be nice to her. But the thing is I've always been really nice to her, even when she still had a boyfriend, so I think she just sees that as how I am rather then as a sign that I like her.

I don't know, from previous experience I just have this feeling that I'm gonna do something wrong and either make her mad or miss my opportunity.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Arainach

I walk away and pick any one of the other eligible girls out there.

Seriously, emotional issues are hell. Plus I don't reccomend dating coworkers because when you eventually break up it just makes things miserable. Spend less of your life at work and go party or something or join a group to meet other people.

Thing is, she's not having emotional issues. She just doesn't want to date anyone at the moment. Also, I might not be working there much longer anyhow.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

She shut you out. You're not getting anywhere with her.

She's not "ready" right now for you or the other 10 men in line.

You wonder why she says she doesn't "want to date anyone," and then the next day she has a boyfriend? It's because she doesn't want to date you.

Sorry to sound harsh about it. =/

Except the girl I'm talking about now only mentions that she doesn't want to date anyone right now, when she's talking about people that keep bugging her. The previous girl I was talking about, yeah I know for a fact that's why she kept saying that. This girl, that I'm talking about now, it's mainly come up because she keeps telling me all her problems.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by christinajon

If you read any of the other threads here, you'll see that this means you're in the "friend zone" and you won't ever get to date her. And, trust me, she won't be ready to date until she meets someone she wants to date - which she obviously hasn't yet.

You could be right, but I'm not the only one there she keeps telling these things to. So I'm not sure if it's because I'm in the "friend zone" or if it's because she's trying to get attention.

You guys are probably right though. My luck always seems to be any girl that I could possibly be interested in, has no interest in me. I wouldn't be so picky about who I show interest in, but seeing the divorce one of my friends is going through kinda tells me I'm right to be picky. Something about dating a girl that has nothing in common with you just seems so... stupid.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Originally Posted by Kolba

Yes, excellent! You couldn't have volleyed away Arainach's cynicism any more adeptly than you just did! The first rule towards revolutionising modern life should be to make your girlfriends last longer than your jobs.

I'm not sure if that was sarcasm or if you were being serious. If it was sarcasm, I really couldn't care less about my job. It's a grocery store where I'm hardly even appreciated by the people in charge even though the whole fucking front end of the store relies on me. If it wasn't for the fact that I live in Michigan and jobs are damn near impossible to find I wouldn't have even been there this long.

Originally Posted by Night Phoenix

This girl is full of shit. She's probably already fucking someone else. Sorry, guy.

I appreciate that you're trying to help me out, but I honestly don't think that's the case. I've worked with her for about 5 or 6 years. She's not really that type of girl, she just broke up with a guy she'd been dating for 5 years because he was cheating on her. I can kinda understand why she wouldn't want to jump right back into a relationship. She doesn't wanna deal with the burden of it, so she's just been partying with her cousin.

Because as I said, I haven't directly asked her out or anything. None of her "I don't want to even think of dating anyone right now" comments were really aimed at me. Unlike the previous girl I mentioned.

Again, not saying you guys are wrong. I probably don't have a chance in hell with her. But when you think someone would make a perfect girlfriend, you kinda feel inclined to at least try anyhow.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Crash Landon

Quit'cher fussin'. Find someone else to fret over cause this particular bus ain't leaving the station with you on it.

That's easy to say, but the thing is, I like her specifically. I don't normally care that I don't have a girlfriend, unless there is someone in particular I like. I don't go out looking for girls, because normally I wouldn't care. If I have no chance with her, I'll just go back to not caring.

I'm not the kind of person who can stomach going to bars and whatnot and trying to sort through all the bimbos to find a girl that I consider worth my time. If I wanted to have a girlfriend really bad, I could probably go get one. But I want a girl that I actually ya know... like.

Honestly, why do people always tell me to go look for someone, when most people that end up together, it happens out of basicly pure luck rather then the fact that either person was looking for someone.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Surasshu the irony of your comment about being a pushover, is that's exactly how she was with her boyfriend. She makes less then $200 a week, is going to college and she bought him an X-Box 360. And weeks before they broke up, I can't remember what it was... but she bought the guy a $600 birthday present. She was so nice to him and he started treating her like crap near the beginning of the year, blowing off plans they had. Eventually she told him either they're going to spend the day together like they planned or he wasn't going to have a girlfriend anymore, and he hung up on her. It was afterwards that she found out he was cheating on her.

But man... I just want to backhand that guy for being so freaking stupid. You say if guys are complete jerks they can't get a girlfriend. But from what I see CONSTANTLY it seems to be the other way around

FELIPE NO

Originally Posted by christinajon

Are you seriously trying to pull the "Jerks get all the girls" thing? Because really, that's not how it is. I'm sure he was more than nice enough to her in the beginning - if she didn't like it when he was a jerk, then I'm sure she would have broken up with him long before they reached the five year mark.

Anyways, if you like this girl so much, just ASK HER OUT and stop asking people on the internet what to do. We don't know her and we don't know how she acts around you. If she dates you, awesome. If not, move on.

Honestly I didn't really expect anyone to like solve my problem for me. But I thought I'd just see if anyone had some helpful advice since my friends are useless when it comes to relationship advice, even though they've all had sex.

I know jerks don't get all the girls, because my friends have all had girlfriends. It just baffles me though, when some guys who are complete scum seem to somehow get an endless stream of girls. It has nothing to do with this particular topic, but I knew a guy who would go on a date with a girl once, have sex with her, and dump her. I'll never know how he kept that up because he wasn't even a good actor. He was pretty obvious about how scummy he was, yet he kept getting girls who in turn were surprised when he just had sex with them and dumped them.

Anyhow, I've got ideas in mind for what to do. Thanks for all the advice guys.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

I wasn't planning on responding to this thread anymore but...

Originally Posted by Leknaat

Do NOT try to date a co-worker. Many businesses forbid this type of relationship, and mandate that if this IS the case, someone has to transfer (if possible) to another location. Many people don't date co-workers because if the relationship sours, things can go wrong with the working relationship.

Do you really think I'm that stupid that I wouldn't have thought about whether or not it's allowed at my work? It is, we've got a union and they wouldn't let the stores have a rule like that.

Originally Posted by Sassafrass

Good LORD are you whiny.

Everyone is telling you the same thing. I don't know why you're going to sit here and fight it.

If you don't believe any of us (which no one can blame you for because internet), go try asking her. See what happens. Be sure to report back!

So you like her. Big deal. This is the here and now, and why waste your efforts trying to score a person who doesn't feel the same about you?

But again, I think the only way you're going to get what we're trying to tell you is if you ask her out. Y'never know - we could all be completely wrong!

As far as the "o god i hate bars how do i meet people," you need to put yourself out there a little and take some risks. I've heard SO MANY whiny children say this shit. I'm not much of an attractive person, and I dislike bars as well, but I seem to do well for myself as far as relationships go.

And I've never once been on an actual date.

Maybe your approach is wrong. I'd say "dating people you work with" is not only a bad approach, but a recipe for disaster.

Ouch. I've never had someone call me whiny before, but that might be because I'm surrounded by yes men, which is why I can never ask my friends for advice.

Also another reason I don't go to bars, is because I don't drink. I've only been drunk twice in my life and that was on new years off of highly loaded punch my friends make. I can't stand the taste of beer. Feel free to call me a wuss, I'm used to it being a guy that hates sports and beer.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Leknaat

Hey, thanks for reading the rest of my advice! I really appreciate it. However, just so we're clear, let me repeat myself:

Dating a co-worker is a bad idea. If the relationship sours, then the work relationship can also sour. It's better to not be in that position to begin with.

And, here's another bit of advice: You don't have to drink alcohol at bars. Many have non-alcoholic drinks there (and not just water).

I did read the rest of your advice, I just didn't comment on the rest of it, because I don't necessarily disagree with everything you said. I just felt I had to respond to that particular part. Sorry if you misunderstood my response.

Originally Posted by Fresh Frank

And a final note? If you say you don't like beer you haven't had enough of them. I'd issue an open challange to find me someone who doesn't like one single beer.

Toss me a suggestion then. I've tried Corona, Molson, Miller High Life, and Strongbow(Although that's technically not beer). I thought every last one of them tasted like piss. The only alcohol I've drank that I didn't hate was Mike's Hard Lemonade and that hardly counts.

Also, I don't think I quite ever said she's not like other girls. It's just that she's nice, smart, has quite a few things in common with me, and she's beautiful. All 4 of those things combined are pretty rare around here, at least the ones that aren't already taken.

And for the record incase anyone is wondering, no I wasn't sitting there hoping she'd break up with her boyfriend, even though I figured it was inevitable since he plays WoW. I didn't even consider her an option till I found out they broke up.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Fresh Frank

Jesus, what do you kids in Michigan do on Saturday nights?[/spoiler]

Personally I'm working Saturday nights. Retail sucks. On the bright side I always have new comic day off though.... god did I just type that? I am a dork.

Also, I'll keep everything you guys said in mind.

How ya doing, buddy?

Just alittle follow up for anyone who cares. I finally did ask her out and her answer was "Maybe in the future" because she has alot of stuff going on lately that's driving her crazy so she doesn't want to be in a relationship. But she also kind of went out of her way to tell me it's not because she has anything against me.

While she could be serious, I also know that being she's a girl that she could also be doing the whole trying to reject a guy without hurting his feelings crap like previous girls have done to me. So unless she suddenly shows some sign that she's interested, I'm just going to go on as if she had given me a flat out no.

Anyhow... let the I told you sos begin!

How ya doing, buddy?

Originally Posted by LeHah

You know, this news wasn't even worth updating this thread with...

Yeah... but I was bored. I get off work and then a friend needs me to help him fix something on his computer. Didn't exactly give me time to do much anything so I just did some random forum stuff... Off to sleep I go now...

I was speaking idiomatically.