Christmas is my first big break to just sit back and enjoy the surroundings since September. And I still love the atmosphere surrounding all of it, as I did when I was a kid. Sitting in the glow of the tree and candles on Christmas Eve, listening to Christmas music and watching the fire, and actually seeing the rest of the family at peace. And while getting presents are nice, I get a lot more out of giving lately. There's nothing quite like getting someone the right gift -- if you can find something suitable to begin with. This year I decided to actually pay attention to hints my family members would drop from time to time, such as my mother's frustration at Thanksgiving when she couldn't find any decent knives in the kitchen. So I feel better equipped this year and won't go through as much of the last minute stress I felt last year.
I actually have more resentment towards Christmas day itself, because that's when the whole illusion comes crashing back to the surface. My father in particular always gets really frustrated on every holiday or special ouccasion, and puts undue stress on everyone else. We've made some changes, like putting off gift unwrapping to the evening, and that's helped. Can't let a couple rough hours in the morning spoil the rest of the day
Jam it back in, in the dark.
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