Asshole-ish and Stupid Customers at your job

Ohohoho~

Where do I begin? I work in the men's department at Mervyn's, which is a major retail clothing store here on the west coast. And, like all retail, it sucks working there. I've been working there for a little over a year now... and I'm just about to hit my last nerve and quit.

Here are some customers that come to mind:

"You suck at math" Mom and Dad - This was something like my first or second month working there. Apparently this family (mother, father, and their teenage son) called the store earlier, talked to some guy (probably wasn't a manager), and were apparently told that they could get full price on returns if they did not have a receipt. Well, store policy is that if you make a return without a receipt, we can only give you the lowest sale price we offer for that item and the total has to go on a gift card. I had to tell them that they were misinformed and that this was the store policy. The son didn't give a crap, but the parents were getting upset about it. The father asked (read: commanded) me if I could do something obscure like take away tax from each item (don't remember exactly what he said, as this was a year ago). He even said "Even [my son] could do that", implying that I suck at math/I'm a braindead idiot. I was pretty pissed, but remained calm and even offered to call a manager. They declined, took their gift card, and left. After that douche made that comment I was pretty much thinking "Don't insult me like that you uneducated high school drop out piece of shit. -_-" Good times.

Angry Shirt Guy - Older man catches me working on the floor and wants me to direct him to a shirt that could replace the one he was currently wearing. Apparently this was only his third time wearing it, and it had already become shredded in some spots from a wash. I direct him to the dress shirts and he leaves to go look at them. Later I end up being the person ringing him up during a big line... and he somehow expects me to give him a free shirt. Keep in mind he does not have a receipt, nor does he have tags on the item. With that said, there's absolutely no way of us looking up the item to even do a no receipt.

I call my department supervisor over to help me in the situation. She's been working there for several years, so she recognizes the shirt from last year and informs him that we no longer have that shirt in the system at all. Of course he gets upset, and starts to act a bit crazy. He starts to raise his voice, and even make threats like he's going to take this to corporate because we sold him a defective shirt or some crap. My supervisor offers to call the acting store manager for that day. Manager comes over and tells the customer the same exact thing myself and my supervisor have told him: we can't return a shirt without a receipt or tags; store policy/no way of us knowing what the item is or how much it even costs. Now he starts getting really crazy, raising his voice even higher and making weird threats like how he's going to tell all his family members to cut up their Mervyn's credit cards and boycott the store. At this point even Loss Prevention, all three of them, come out because they're worried about him flipping out. Eventually, the manager, with the authorization of LP, just gives him the shirt for free, pretty much and the customer leaves, pissed off.

What a looney. @_@

I'm A Lazy Bitch and so is My Friend - Recently we got Southpole as a brand we're selling. Near the register is a table with jeans on them. I get stopped by this woman and her female friend. They're looking for a certain size and ask me for help. I ask them if they've already looked through all the jeans, because, you know, it's not my job to be your pair of eyes. They say no... and I just kind of stand there, thinking "...they're really expecting me to fucking look for them when they haven't even attempted to look for themselves." I reluctantly help them, trying to find the size they're looking for in a certain style. Can't find it. They ask me again to look... same size but different style. This happens a total of about four times before I become extremely livid and literally give them a "¬_¬" kind of look and helping them again. I guess they finally got the hint and stopped asking me for help. Dumb bitches.

I Can't Wait in Line Guy - This one is recent, but is a quickie too. There's only two of us in line. I'm helping a customer with a lot of stuff, purchases and returns. My coworker just got done helping a customer. There's a family with a lot of stuff next, but they're nice enough to offer the guy behind them to go first since he only had two or three items. He politely declines so they go ahead and begin to get rung up. I swear it was no more than maybe two or three minutes before I hear the same guy practically yell as loud as he could "I CAN'T SPEND MY LIFE HERE!" and suddenly storms off, presumebly to another, shorter line that he can check out at. Here's the kicker: an hour later he's still in the store and ends up checking out at the men's department anyways. ...why the hell did you get all pissy, making it seem like you're in a rush, and then still be in the store a whole hour later? Nut bag!

I seriously need to get out of this job before I kill a customer.

Jam it back in, in the dark.