Abusive Relationships

Sometimes I think people stay in abusive relationships because they just have to have a boyfriend/girlfriend to function.

I know there's other reasons too but it's just what I think of whenever I hear relationship abuse.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Yes Sassafrass, exactly. When I was about 7 or 8, my Mother got hit by my Dad in Anger. He slept out in the car for about a week and then they got a divorce soon afterwards. There were 5 and one big house which all because the responsibility of my one working mother. She found a way to take care of all of us without him. That's what I call a strong person.

At the time, I told my mother, "was it that big of a deal? It was only once." but she said "if they do it once, they're just going to do it again".

I really admire my mother's strength. She won't put up with crap just to have someone there in her bed. That includes free-loading, lies, and just all around garbage.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Well, we all have our weaknesses in our character.

I think people just need to find ways to build up their self-esteem somehow.

On a side note: I always found it amusing that those who always dish out a lot of verbal abuse crumble when someone actually says something about them.

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Everyone, let's be smart and 'Bring it off' because an argument starts.

Anyways, I know a girl who actually fights with her boyfriend to express their anger. They both hit each other (she had some nasty marks on her) and beat the anger out of each other. She was actually fine with it too. I guess they both didn't care about getting their anger out with physical violence.

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Originally Posted by eks

Anyone who attacks (physically or mentally) an innocent bystander should get some treatment for it. I don't care what they say, that isn't healthy.

Bystander? It's not like that. They just hit each other and are both fine with that. They most likely do it at their homes so no bystanders are present.

She says they do that whenever they are frustrated with each other. (You can imagine my look when she told me this)

I'm pretty sure there's more relationships like this now though. People have a harder time talking things out. Yes, you do get mad enough to want to hit someone sometimes but that doesn't mean you should act on it. Some of the people who act on that anger are the ones who regret doing it afterwards. I'm more worried about the people who actually don't feel remorse after doing that though.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Visavi

I know that certain people have certain ways of working out their anger, but that seems a little extreme. Do they at least wear protective gear so they won't accidentally knock the other out and beat them to death?

No, no protective gear. Sometimes I see her and she has bruises on her from their 'session'. Whenever I mention something about it, she just says something like "I got him back just as hard".

Quote:

There are alternatives to those who need to physically release their tension such as sports and exercise (similar effects without as much pain, especially sparring). They could even put a picture of their significant other's face on a blow-up doll or punching bag if they really need visual stimulation.

As nice as that seems, people generally don't think productively (This is Dr. Phil type stuff). I guess they just want real hand to hand contact.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

Originally Posted by PUG1911

That is either a lie to cover up abuses, or they really do beat each other instead of talking.

No, it's not a lie. She and her 'man' are both cold-hearted people. I can see it happen.

Originally Posted by PUG1911

Either way, it's an unhealthy choice in a relationship. You shouldn't need to get violent in order to resolve your issues with a loved one.

Well, technically, they are pretty happy when I see them together even if the fighting is unhealthy. Maybe it's just the 'thug' way of talking things out. It's just what happens when 2 violent people form a relationship.

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Originally Posted by eks

You might wanna suggest counseling to your friend.

When I mention stuff like that to her, she just laughs.

Somethings just need to be solved by that person (If they want to solve it). You can't change a person if they don't want to change their ways.

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Originally Posted by eks

No one is happy with someone that hits them or someone that pisses them off enough to make them want to hit them.

Well, what if they actually think that's the way they are suppose to release anger? I'm pretty sure there's a lot of people who think hitting someone is the only way to solve something. There is a lot of aggressive people in the world.

I doubt girls like her will ever seek help because they are use to having that kind of relationships with others and probably think it's right.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Well, Seris, you do have to take into account that some people are dependent on boyfriend/girlfriend relationships.

Society puts so much pressure on you having a partner that I know the more weak people will certainly get someone and just accept it.

Also, the fact that many people don't think they can do better or that there's no better kind of people out there. (I wouldn't critize them for thinking there's not that much better people out there)

I'm sure there's people from messed up backgrounds who have men hit them all of the time and call it a 'love tap'.

There's many factors that could make them just accept it.

Double Post:

Originally Posted by Monkey King

People won't use their heads in relationships.

Until it almost gets chopped off by their so-called "lover".

There's nowhere I can't reach.