HAY GUYS

gaming · May 4, 2006, 01:12 PM

She was only 20 and died from a heart attack.
I really loved her, but I'm not crying...

Is this normal?

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gaming · May 4, 2006, 01:15 PM

I'm not asking about the heart attack.
I'm asking why I'm not crying inside...

There's nowhere I can't reach.

gaming · May 4, 2006, 01:38 PM

Originally Posted by nanashiusako

Sometimes it takes a while for the fact that a person is dead to really hit home. My grandmother and Uncle both died within six months of each other, and both times it didn't hit me until I was at the wake or funeral.

Did you cry...?

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

gaming · 01:08 AM

This may sound silly, but have you ever had the thought that God is punishing you in a indirect way?

My life has been pretty boring and I've been feeling lonely and down for the past few years and then suddenly this year, I got a lot of job offerings. One job was a high position in the goverment. For the first time in my life, I felt success. I still don't understand how they picked me out of 300 other candidates. I didn't even apply for this job, somehow they found my CV in their database and called me up, asking if I was interested in the job.
This was like 1 month ago when and I've been living life great since they told me I got the job. Life was wonderful, it's like my life got turned around and I was really happy. Then yesterday my cousin died... and this feeling stopped.

I don't know how to say this, but do you think I could have gotten this success on the cost of my cousin's death...?
(I'm not sure if I believe in god or not, sometimes I do, sometimes I don't)
At this moment, I do believe. I want him to bring her back or make sure she's happy in heaven. I was really going to visit her in about 1 month, and now this happens. It makes me really angry...

How ya doing, buddy?

gaming · May 5, 2006, 03:29 AM

This may be another silly question.
Last week, i started to think about her and I wanted to add her to my MSN list, so I asked another cousin if he knew. But he didn't. Then I forgot about the whole thing.

Do you guys think this was a sign?
Something inside of me tells that I could have prevented her death if I just googled after her name. Yesterday when I heard the terrible news, I DID google for her name and found her website.

Only if I did this last week. I feel so horrible...

I was speaking idiomatically.