Religion: What it means to you

My mother (atheist or agnostic) and father (Catholic) divorced when I was young. Since I spent more time with my mother, I picked up the idea that religion was based on nothing, really. Of course, at my young age, I just took her word for it. (More on that later.) I attend mass with my father when I see him. Also, the town I live in is extremely churchy, and was once in the Guiness Book of World Records for having the most churches per capita (in the 1940s I think.) Both my mother and my father are scientifically-minded people.

So anyway, I went through my childhood on what could be described as a faith-based atheism, in that I did not reach an atheist conclusion, but instead just followed what my mom did. One fateful day in 8th grade a friend of mine somehow managed to convert me to Chrsitianity. I didn't really believe it strongly, but I saw it more like afterlife insurance. If I happened to be wrong, there would be hell to pay, and that scared me.

For a few years, I felt obligated to make some connection with God, and to pay attention at mass, and so on. I still disagreed with many of the ideas of Christianity, but figured that all the stuff I didn't like was due to some kind of mistranslation or something.

One day, I realized that the only thing Christianity was doing for me was making me second-guess everything I do, wondering if I should have Jesused it up a little more. It was also worrying me that my mother's side of the family would end up in a flaming pit after they died. So, in an instant decision, I dropped all religious thought whatsoever. I realized that all things occur in nature and are the result of something real, tangible, physical, and predictable. Mysticism is an idea, and does not have anything to do with the universe. Faith is just another word for gullibility--taking someone's word for it. I cannot comprehend the notion of shrugging off evidence or proof of something based on some tall tales from a 2000 year old book from the desert.

In summary, I went from a faith-based atheist, to a faith-based Christian, to a critical/analytical atheist, who only believes in what exists.

I used to think that religion was harmless as long as it did not mandate any kind of human suffering. After all, it gives hope to a lot of people. However, I now believe that, if God is an invention, then people are putting their hope on something that isn't real. That worries me.

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Jam it back in, in the dark.