Losing belief

despite facing the many challenges life has thrown at me, i think my faith is too strong and unwavering for me to just drop it.

one big challenge was the irony of me becoming a pedophile in a world (or at least country) that hates pedophiles. but its just a challenge like everything else. its just another obstacle and you have to find a way to overcome it. when i say overcome it, i obviously dont mean stop being a pedophile. its impossible, god has now made that part of who i am. youll be just as successful trying to convince a straight guy to go gay as convincing me to know like underaged girls.

but as i said, you have to find ways to overcome it. in the beginning i was alone. but that was not the case. there are many people like me out there, we are just the hidden section of society. the part of society that nobody knows or if they do know, they dont want to talk about it. but it turns out i was not alone. in fact, we are actually a demographic, a market. a small one, but a growing one. im talking about lolicon hentai, which is well drawn cartoon representations of children in ####ual situations which can be used as a masturbation tool. what i am trying to say that is that god made me a pedophile but put me in a world where i cannot fulfill my desires. but i can partially fulfill that desire by using lolicon hentai.

to add to the story, i have seen then realized that many many people who like lolicon, and entire communities out there. i have also since then found out about the existence of junior idols, which is what my thread here was about:

http://www.gamingforce.org/forums/se...nce-sense.html

so again, god made me a pedophile in a world that hates pedophiles. for most people in this world, not being able to ####ually relieve yourself and not be able to fulfill your ####ual desires is a very bad thing. as a pedophile, i still cant fulfill my personal ####ual desires (#### with young girls) but i can still ####ually relieve myself by using lolicon and junior idols.

and the most important thing about all of this the knowledge that i am not alone and there is a community of us out there. to be lonely, to suffer loneliness, is probably one of the worst things that can happen to someone.

god didnt abandon me, he was with me all along. i just had to find the courage within myself to search for the answers. god gave us free will for a purpose. we just need to have faith in god and have faith in ourselves and to overcome all adversities.

anyway, the above story was my story from a long time ago. i now accept who i am, at least privately, not publically. maybe one day i can express my true self publically and not be lynched for it.

Originally Posted by MTGNecro

I understand what happened with you. Or at least I think I do. I bounced around from Christian to Buddhist and a few others, but only because of others. Now I know the only things I really believe in are karma and that there is a creator. Though at times I think the creator is a giant ameoba.

EDIT: And it seems I have some issues to clear up with someone...

i dont think its important what god actually physically is. its the idea of god that is what matters. god put you on this earth and then he gave you questions. why are you here? what purpose do i serve? what do i want? etc most importantly, he gave you free will. your job now is to find the answers, the answers that you think will most make you happy and the people and the community around you happy.

How ya doing, buddy?