Proper English

The disability/inability to write proper English seems to be an escalating problem for most people these days, especially on the Internet. I get the impression that people who write like this are either too lazy, too dumb or they just want to bug the hell out of other people. Personally, I hate it when people write shit-English and then expect me to be able to read it.

So here's a short conversation I had with a fellow on Soulseek. Apparently he was looking for a movie called Blow. Here's what happened;

Quote:

(0:41) [LuPo_StOnEr06] u got blow m8
[mr.cr4zy] i got blow?
(0:42) [LuPo_StOnEr06] u gunna send me it
[mr.cr4zy] what's blow?
(0:43) [LuPo_StOnEr06] itz a film wid jonny depp in
[mr.cr4zy] hmm, well i don't have blow
[mr.cr4zy] but i have fear and loathing in las vegas
[mr.cr4zy] and jonny depp's in that movie too
(0:44) [LuPo_StOnEr06] w
[mr.cr4zy] w? w what, at least write the full sentence so i know what you mean
(0:45) [LuPo_StOnEr06] in wot film
[mr.cr4zy] what do you mean in what film? the name of the movie is fear and loathing in las vegas
[mr.cr4zy] if you want it, i can let you download it
(0:46) [LuPo_StOnEr06] ive got it m8
(0:46) [LuPo_StOnEr06] im watchin dat now
[mr.cr4zy] oh ok
[mr.cr4zy] well i don't have Blow
[mr.cr4zy] or whatever it's called
(0:46) [LuPo_StOnEr06] ok m8
[mr.cr4zy] sorry
[mr.cr4zy] you tried torrentsites?
(0:46) [LuPo_StOnEr06] itz ok
[mr.cr4zy] by the way, i don't think jonny depp is in that movie. i just checked Blow and jonny depp is nowhere in the cast
[mr.cr4zy] no wait
[mr.cr4zy] my bad
[mr.cr4zy] he is in the movie
[mr.cr4zy] but you should check torrent sites
[mr.cr4zy] if you go around asking people at random like this the chance of getting the movie is _REALLY_ small
[mr.cr4zy] take my word for it
[mr.cr4zy] look for it on torrent sites
(0:48) [LuPo_StOnEr06] wotz dat m8
[mr.cr4zy] wait, one question first
[mr.cr4zy] how old are you`?
(0:48) [LuPo_StOnEr06] y u ask
[mr.cr4zy] i need to know before i can help you
(0:49) [LuPo_StOnEr06] 16
(0:49) [LuPo_StOnEr06] y
[mr.cr4zy] you write like you're 4. get a grip of yourself
(0:49) [LuPo_StOnEr06] u wot u fukin fag
(0:49) [LuPo_StOnEr06] u need 2 get a grip
[mr.cr4zy] ok that makes no sense, but seriously, let's stay sharp here
[mr.cr4zy] i'm trying to help you out
[mr.cr4zy] the least you could do is write proper english
(0:50) [LuPo_StOnEr06] your fuked in ya ed m8
[mr.cr4zy] yes, yes i am
[mr.cr4zy] but i'm still willing to help you
[mr.cr4zy] you want that or not?
(0:50) [LuPo_StOnEr06] it teckz 2 long prop english
[mr.cr4zy] teckz?
[mr.cr4zy] takes?
[mr.cr4zy] see that's 5 letters in both words
(0:51) [LuPo_StOnEr06] 4 fuk sake
[mr.cr4zy] writing teckz takes just as long as takes
(0:51) [LuPo_StOnEr06] so fukin wot
[mr.cr4zy] oi mate, just listen here alright
(0:51) [LuPo_StOnEr06] im listenin
[mr.cr4zy] i'm trying to help you, but you're 16 so try acting your age... cussing won't help neither of us
(0:52) [LuPo_StOnEr06] W T F m8
[mr.cr4zy] so here's the deal.. torrents are like small files you download and when you start them, you connect to a tracker. that tracker has lotsa other people connected to it and that's how you download from multiple computers at the same time
[mr.cr4zy] like small chunks of the file
[mr.cr4zy] SHIT seriously lay off with that fucking crap
[mr.cr4zy] don't act all surprised, i can't fucking make out a single sentence you write
[mr.cr4zy] i should be the one who's surprised not you
[mr.cr4zy] anyway, you need a torrent client to launch the files
[mr.cr4zy] and after that, you just sit back and wait for the file to finish
(0:53) [LuPo_StOnEr06] let me fink fuk off u pedo nonce twat
[mr.cr4zy] fink? you mean think?
[mr.cr4zy] all i ask of you is to put some effort into writing properly so i can FUCKING UNDERSTAND YOU
(0:54) [LuPo_StOnEr06] lesson 1
[mr.cr4zy] if i do not understand you i CANNOT HELP YOU
(0:55) [LuPo_StOnEr06] fuk = fuck
[mr.cr4zy] ahh i see, took me some time to figure that one out
(0:55) [LuPo_StOnEr06] lesson 2= fink =think
[mr.cr4zy] i bet your finger got really tired writing that extra 'c'
[mr.cr4zy] but wait, shouldn't it be lesson 1; fink = think and lesson 2; fuk = fuck, since you wrote fink before you wrote fuk
[mr.cr4zy] ?=
[mr.cr4zy] right?
(0:55) [LuPo_StOnEr06] yep me u got that thing i have sent you
[mr.cr4zy] you didn't send me anything.
(0:56) [LuPo_StOnEr06] fink fuk
[mr.cr4zy] where you from anyway?
(0:56) [LuPo_StOnEr06] shit wrong person soz cheef
[mr.cr4zy] no that's ok
(0:56) [LuPo_StOnEr06] never never land u
[mr.cr4zy] scotland?
[mr.cr4zy] or maybe england
(0:57) [LuPo_StOnEr06] thatz y your so fick den iz it
(0:57) [LuPo_StOnEr06] fukin crack ed
[mr.cr4zy] what's your point?
(0:58) [LuPo_StOnEr06] u iz a crack ed
[mr.cr4zy] u iz?
[mr.cr4zy] what the hell is that?

So, how do you handle yourself in these situations? Are you bothered by the lack of grammar, punctuation, etc., or do you tag along and do your best to write even worse than your peer?

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Quote:

Using OF instead of HAVE makes NO SENSE at all.

It does make sense. For stupid people. But I agree with you, this is by far some of the most annoying tendencies I've seen in the English language.

Quote:

If they act stupid, I block them. I don't want to deal with people who can't handle typing out a few extra letters to make their message more concise.

Well, I would have blocked him too, but I just had to see how far I could carry this. Also, I wouldn't mind helping him out, if only he were a little more susceptible to help.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Using abbreviations such as lol, brb and gtg is fine, it's not really what I was referring to when I brought this topic up. It has a certain relevance to this, but the example I posted was a rather extreme case of bad spelling & grammar, in which case brb, gtg and lol kind of fall out of the frame.

What I would like to hear though is a plausible explanation as to why he wrote 'u iz'. The more theories the merrier. Keep in mind that this guy most definitely is from the UK, making this even more interesting.

Personally, I think he's just stupid. Or he's been watching Ali G way too much.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.