Help me with my secret mission, operation chick-fake

step one: get your hands on a time machine, one of those machines featured in so many of those Honey I Shrunk The Kids movies/shows/whatever, and a pair of x-ray glasses fashioned in the shape of the comic book age 3D glasses so nobody will know what they're for. covert!!

step two: warp back to the time (perhaps a few minutes before), and more importantly, the place of your conception and use the shrinking machine to become the size of a grain of sand. possible smaller. whichever works for you.

step three: equip your x-ray glasses. they're not really x-ray glasses, more like magical sciencey glasses that nobody's heard of before because they're really covert and top secret, but they'll help you differenciate which sex chromosome is being carried by the oncoming sperm, so you can more easily succeed at step four.

step four: kick ass chuck norris style on any and all incoming sperm that carry the Y chromosome. this will then allow the sperm with an X chromosome make it to the egg and create a female you instead of a male.

step five: go about life as a female until needed for this top secret mission. nothing's more convincing as a female than a real female.

Jam it back in, in the dark.