HEY ASSHOLE, GET THE FUCK OFF THE ROAD

I pretty much despise people who slow way the fuck down for a merge.

95 to route 2 is an issue like that. People on route 2 are usually going 65-80 in the right. I don't need some jackass in front of mr slowing down to 25 before the on-ramp. You need some kind of velocity there. And if there's room, sure as hell I'll cut over to the left, speed up and cut back to the right to get around your slow ass.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Nutty et al, more often than not I'm moving forward because the guy behind me is right on my ass and it's making me uncomfortable. Ie, suppose someone rear ends him, and because he's practically bumper to bumper, he rolls forward and rear ends me.

Other scenarios include, I've stopped but the guy behind me is approaching uncomfortably fast. And also inching forward because you see the opposite lights going yellow, in preparation for yours going green. Some larger intersections it's entirely possible to guess wrong and have some other light turn green instead of yours.

Finally, if the guy in front of you inches forward, you don't have to. You can sit right where you are, and people behind you can deal.

What pisses me off about traffic lights are the douche bags that either take awhile to start moving again, or accelerate way too slowly. Traffic lights can be great places to get around the slow fuck in the left lane that's been holding you up for 6 miles, provided you don't have a slow fuck in the right lane who's going to take his time pulling out of a traffic light.

Ditto for toll booths. Get through one quick enough and you've got a painless merge. Get some douche in front of you who thinks the 5mph sign actually means something, and you'll have hell avoiding the rest of everybody who's going faster than you.

And also Crash's mention of bumper stickers needs another mention here too. Christian bumper stickers are annoying as all fuck. Especially when the person driving them is going slow. It's bad enough I have to sit behind your fat ass, being unable to see any kind of traffic ahead because you're huge but on top of that, I have to read your tacky shit about how Jesus saves.

I'd say even worse are the deliberately crass ones, because I can't understand what possible motivation there is to use them. "I like to fart?" The kind of person that thinks he should advertise that is the kind of person with whom I don't want to share my planet.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Ditto what RR said. You're supposed to be in control of your vehicle at all times. If someone rear ends you and you slide forward five feet, then you fucked up somewhere.

Now, I mean I guess you could sue the guy who hit you for damages including whatever you had to pay out and see if you could win. I figure extenuating circumstances, a fully loaded van going 95 into the back of your car's going to move you forward no matter what you do.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.