So I'm a bad guy.

I'd say try being mindful of the way you act, and choosing at every chance you get to respond in a more gracious manner. Do that until it becomes habitual.

Perhaps I'm projecting, but what I read from your post is that you pretty much enjoy acting like a dick. It's all empowering and stuff. Then later in retrospect you feel bad because you think you should. You won't be able to just make some sweeping decision and go "Ok I'm going to give a shit now," and suddenly be all smiles and rainbows. You'll have to make a conscious decision every time to be pleasant. Maybe once you form the habit, the caring piece might fall into place. I don't know, I'm not there yet.

Also, I think it's a little gay to start saying stuff like "Oh you feel bad about being mean therefore you're not really mean."

I mean, one, there's the whole slippery slope thing. You start out thinking "oh man, I might be a sociopath, but I guess because I worry about it, I really do have a soul." Next step is to simply accept it and stop worrying, and we go from there.

It also pretty much removes any responsibility for his behavior. A dash of remorse shouldn't absolve people of the consequences of their actions. If he acts like a dick, he is a dick. When he stops acting like one, maybe he won't be one anymore.

Jam it back in, in the dark.