Society's unwritten rules.

One of the managers at my place of work mentioned that he found it really off-putting if someone didn't give a firm handshake. Or if they didn't put their hand all the way forward so that the webs between thumb and forefinger met. In which case, shaking improperly might cost you a job. =(

Jam it back in, in the dark.

I don't know Alice. I've been in situations with family and friends where the waiter is waiting for an order, and everyone's just looking at each other waiting for someone else to go first. You say "go ahead" and they think it's polite to be demure and say "ono u." It's annoying as all hell. =(

Also, back to handshakes. I don't give women a firm handshake. It just feels wrong, I mean, most of the time their hands feel so thin and delicate, gotta be gentle. Is that bad?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

I've noticed that too. When at someone else's house, the mother constantly offers me food. If I just ate, it doesn't matter. "Do you want chips? How about watermelon? Cookies? Cake? Ice cream? Turkey?" It makes me feel like Hansel at the witch's house.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

What about rules for interactions with waiters? We just went out to eat and I was thinking about this. It appears I've actually got quite a few expectations of waiters. Like for instance, I shouldn't have to ask to have my water glass refilled. If I put it at the edge of the table, that should be indication enough. They also shouldn't talk to me beyond taking my order, that just seems like an invasion of privacy to me. When they do fill my water glass, a brief "thank you" or nod if my mouth is full should be sufficient. I tip well regardless but I feel more generous toward waiters who respect the fact that they're really not supposed to be a visible part of my dining experience. It'd be interesting to hear from a waiter/waitress's point of view on this.

Of course, when I'm drunk that's a different story. Sass can attest I then play grab ass with the waiters, and tip way way too much. >.>;;

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

But Alice, I drink a lot of water. =( I don't think 4 glasses is that difficult. =/ And really, I understand a waiter's busy, but I figure if they go by once, then they've seen the empty glass. If they go by again, they should be able to fill it.

I was speaking idiomatically.