How much shit do you put on your body?

Shampoo, Conditioner, Curl Cream, some form of nice smelling spray, shaving gel/foam, followed by the face and body smoothing glory of 'Nivea Soft Intensive Moisturising Cream'.

Check me out, I smell half decent.

P.S. To everyone reckoning that your natural body odour is an aphrodisiac, WRONG! It will only be an aphrodisiac to people who are already attracted to you, since we live in a society which is not bound by primitive and instinctive attractions. I can't honestly remember the last time I saw a monkey throwing it's poo and showing it's arse, let alone a human.

P.P.S. I don't think the world of myself, however I know I smell like flowers ;-)

Jam it back in, in the dark.