What does this mean? (My first girl problem)

Uh, that's not really true. There's always a reason. The reason may seem inane, but there is always a reason. (Okay, the girl could be psychotic or just fucking with you when she said she wanted to go out. But let's disregard those two options as highly unlikely for now.)

Girls themselves usually can't really explain the reason though, they'll say something like "I just don't feel attracted to him that way" because they think that's how it works. And then guys will think the same thing: "Well, I can't really be blamed since the sparks just weren't there." Both of my straw-people think that attraction is something that either appears or doesn't, and you just have to (metaphorically speaking) chop down enough grass to find the rupees.

However, in 99% of the cases, the guy (or girl) has behaved in such a way that drives the girl away (or guy, for an example of this, check this guy's story). The problem really lies in what we are taught by "society" as the norm for treating girls. They say you should be courteous to a lady. Buy her dinner, take her out and pamper her with gifts. Support her when she's down and be there for her at all times. Treat her, in short, like a princess, and she'll be yours forever.

But in fact, girls hate that shit. And they may not realize they hate it, but they (unless they're emotionally damaged, and have an unhealthy need for support) really don't want to be treated like they're made of cotton candy. Sure, it gives them a nice boost of confidence, but it doesn't spark any attraction to you. In fact it will kill any attraction that was there.

My bet here is that you did just what I described, and this exact thing happened. It's not so strange--my first relationship was the exact same way. I think this is why most first relationships don't work out.

So what you need to remember is that you keep treating anyone you get involved with as a human being. Tease them, have fun with them... Don't put the pussy on a pedestal.

For this particular case I'd say just try to move on as soon as possible. It's almost impossible to get a girl to like you again once you wussed out around them, cause they'll remember that forever. And it's generally a good approach anyway--seriously, you can get someone else (I could), it's her loss. And the first relationship pretty much never works out, so it's not like this is a huge deal. (Like mortis says that's easier said than done, but he's really right so I want to repeat his point.)

If you do want to be friends with her it's smart to get a new girlfriend! Not only is it awesome to have a new girlfriend in general, it also says to her "I'm over you, we can have a relatively normal friendship".

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Cobra Commander

2) This girl has never been in a relationship UNTIL she has been good friends with the person first (this was not the case with me)

Yes this does happen but in my experience the situation was such that they were already attracted to each other from the start and (for whatever reason) just ended up becoming friends at first. You simply cannot kindle feelings of attraction slowly, they're either there or not.

Originally Posted by Cobra Commander

3) I thought the purpose of dating WAS to get to know the other person better

I completely agree with this, and I think the whole "get to know them first" thing is basically a terrible idea. You should base your selection on girls you find physically attractive anyway, because you don't know what personality they have until you get to know them, and if you don't find them physically attractive you just can't have a "complete" relationship with them. Just my two cents.

Originally Posted by Cobra Commander

4) Moving on is happening, no doubt about that, though it took me a LONG friggin time to find her so I'm looking for another long wait it seems

Nonsense, you could find another girl you like tomorrow.

Originally Posted by Cobra Commander

5) I understand what you said about treating them like cotton candy and how that doesn't work, it's true I probably did that

You're not alone, it took me years to figure that shit out. Specifically, it took a girl treating ME like that to figure out how Goddamn repulsive it is. You'd think it'd be awesome to be adored by a beautiful girl!

Originally Posted by Cobra Commander

6) I am totally on board with that honesty thing, I mean I know I was totally honest when i talked to her and stuff, and from many standpoints I guess she was as well UNTIL the break up...because she did tell me previously she doesn't like being mean so i guess I got my answer.

Many times, they think they want to be friends, and they do want to be friends, but it's too awkward for them to actually go through with it. It's not so much a lie as it's a promise they can't live up to, I wouldn't judge her too harshly based on it.

Originally Posted by Cobra Commander

Any more advise other than move on, don't treat um like cotton candy, and don't worry about it so much?

Don't be bitter to her!

Hmm, I gotta ask this, cause I'm not sure: do you want to keep her as a friend?

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by GRUN-2

I actually have to disagree with this, since I was more attracted to my girlfriend after I got to know her better. Personally, I've met too many girls that looked good and were total asshats to think that's a good way to start. Sure, don't bother trying girls that you think are ugly or repulse you, but sometimes a great personality really can make someone look even better in your eyes.

Oh I don't disagree with that at all. I mean I thought my (current) girlfriend was super hot from the moment I saw her (cause that's kinda what hot means ), but in the end I'd have to say the hottest thing about her is her personality. And conversely, no matter how hot a girl is, bad personality kills any relationship. Well, for me anyway!

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To answer your question surasshu I would like to keep this girl as a friend, I don't have many that are girls and well we did share a lot of the same view points and values.

Yeah that's fair, just checking if you didn't want to like, get back together with her. Cause that's trouble! D:

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.