I suppose I don't really deal with it at all. I was on Welbutrin and seeing a therapist once a week for a few weeks last year after coming very close to attempting suicide. The therapy made me incredibly uncomfortable, so I quit after a few weeks. No pills without therapy, of course, so that was the end of those, too.
I've had social anxiety as far back as kindergarten, and the depression started in high school, but my life pretty much ended after I dropped out of school and the store I worked at for almost a year and a half closed a couple years ago. That's when it really got bad. I haven't worked in two years; got hired a couple places but quit both after one shift at each place because the anxiety got so bad.
At every stage of my life it seems like there's been one thing or another wrong with me that's kept me isolated from everyone else. I've just sort of accepted that. What keeps me from considering suicide anymore and really turned things around for me in terms of how I think about life is a very, very simple Wilco song called "Either Way."
You never what tomorrow will bring. Might be something good.
Jam it back in, in the dark.
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