[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

The Dwarven Paladin gathered up his helmet, as well as his wits, spitting out the taste of heavy metal that lingered on his tongue. Setting the scale armour back atop his head, he grumbled to himself. Something about Kord's divine wisdom setting obstacles in our path. He reached to his back, feeling his trusty Warhammer still slung there he grunted. "Well, at least he doesn't leave us unarmed."

It was about then he noticed he wasn't alone in the damp, unappealing room. The apparently still living on all sides of him, with the scattered remains of the obviously dead behind him. The bones did little to shake those who followed Kord, God of War. But these living vessels, seeming to be coming around as he watched, were a different matter entirely. Mind you, that blonde with the eyeliner was fetching enough for a human wench. Which meant he still wouldn't spit on her to put her out were she on fire.

My, but this was shaping up as an interesting day, indeed...

Jam it back in, in the dark.

[edit] Waiting for Bob's action.

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Gabriel scoffed as the elf skipped to the far side of the room, near the stairs. Well then, at least the fool-elf had some sense in his head. More than could be said for most in his daffodil-eating race. Drawing his weapon from his back, he hefted the hammer in his hand, stepping forward before slamming the sidearm against his shield and raising the weapon above his head while the sound still rang out through the room.

"COME SON OF THE RAVEN QUEEN. KNEEL BEFORE KORD!"

The Dwarf had found his voice, and his god, in this forgotten pit. Here, faced by the undead, he was at his best. He near glowed with his own sense of smug satisfaction. Or perhaps a divine light, it was hard to tell from behind.

He slid his feet apart, widening his stance, beckoning towards the Skeleton with a raised chin, and placing his heavy shield between himself and his foe, readying his hammer and smiling broadly. It's not that he cared whether this elf lived or died, but he was a Paladin of Kord, and he would act as such.



Draws Weapon
Moves close enough to his opponent to utilise...
Divine Challenge

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf lowered his weapon with a slightly arched brow. "Well that was... anti-climactic." He kept the hammer in his right hand but let it hang down near his ankles as he shifted in his heavy armour. It was only then that he noticed the Subgenius wailing at the corpse and reached out and tapped him with his shield.

"Stay your hand, Kinsman. I believe it is already dead..er." He coughed slightly, causing his beard to ruffle outwards beneath his mouth. "I don't suppose you've any idea how we got here? I seem to have misplaced my memories concerning last night." He directed the question towards Motsognir, though he offered Bob a nod in his direction on a job well done. Who knew skeletons didn't like the cold? Clearly a fairly wise spellspit, this one.

"No matter how we got here, I vote we take the stairs." He grunted and slung his hammer up to rest on his shoulder. "There's less dead things in front of it, and that bodes well for the future."

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

A gruff grunt in response to the halfling. "So it would seem, little friend. Questions upon questions. Ah well..." he hefted the hammer off one shoulder and leaned it across the back of his neck. "Kord shall provide answers in his own time."

The dwarf glanced around yet again at the odd grouping around him. The pretty elf girl in the corner, the possibly autistic human with the massive hands, his kinsman and a halfling that he can only assume is a thief. Since most of them are. Lovely.

"I still say we take the stairs." He grumbled under his breath, noting the halfling's sudden interest in the door. "If this is a dungeon, I'd much rather be going up than staying on this level. Anyone here say otherwise?"

I was speaking idiomatically.

The dwarf momentarily forgot his diplomatic attempt to decide which direction to go when the elf launched into his speech. By the blade of Kord, this boy was stark raving mad. He stared, slightly slack-jawed for a few long moments before he shut his mouth and scowled darkly. Well, either stark raving mad or a complete ass-head.

"Scary Bob. Right. Let's ge-" he stopped talking, considering for a moment and finally just rolling his eyes and tromping towards the elf and the staircase. "It doesn't matter. We're taking the stairs. Lift your skirts and keep up." He grumbled under his breath in dwarven, tightening a hand around the holy symbol he wore wrapped around his wrist so tightly it imprinted on his palm.

His heavy footfalls echoed off the walls as he moved towards the base of the stairs, glancing up into the darkness. As a dwarf, his lowlight vision didn't make it very daunting. He actually smiled a little as he swung the hammer down to hang by his side, lazily swinging it in the firm grip of his right hand.

"Someone will need a light for the human if he doesn't have his own. Don't suppose you could conjure up a little illumination between commanding hordes of the undead?" The sarcastic remark aimed at the elf as he put his foot on the bottom step.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf spat on the ground and trudged back down about four steps. "Kord's will. I don't even have to read it." In point of fact, he was perhaps too short to reach the placard but he kept up the gruff demeanor anyway. "It's going to tell us we're going through the door."

Gabriel looked up at the nearby human Rogue and patted his arm. "You take a look, human. Maybe it's an exit sign, who knows?" He grumbled and began trudging towards the back of the pack and stopping when he was parallel with Scary Bob. "Which means we have to go through the door to death, down there...."

The little man was quite the cynic, as he hadn't even read the damned sign and he was already assuming they were walking into near certain death. Ah well, let someone else read it. Kord was merciful, however. Now halfling to decide it would be funny to pull on the dangling rope and possibly crush them all beneath some random trap.

FELIPE NO

"Well, I guess we'd be better off making the best of-" the Paladin stopped, his jaw working as his brow furrowed in confusion as the hambeast licked the placard. He shook his head and took up point, trudging down the stairs with heavy foot stomps, as subtle as a dwarf knew how to be.

"By the never-shattering blade of Kord, this is going to be a miracle if we navigate our way out of this." He commented more to himself, but it was closest to Silent Bob. As he hit the bottom of the stairs, he grasped his weapon tightly in his hand and looked long at the door for a sign of a lock, or an obvious booby trap. He rubbed his calf with the head of his warhammer, sighing openly as he did his best to look like he understood a damned thing about traps and doors in general. Ah, he'd give the wizard for a decent thief right about now...

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The Dwarf scratched his valanced chin with the hammer's grip. Staring at the door and waiting for the rest of the group to descend. He glanced down at the holy symbol on his wrist and sighed deeply.

"I don't suppose any of you lot has a love for reckless exploratio-" He stopped and turned on his heels, looking up as the hambeast lumbered down the steps. "You there, slope-brow. I think there might be food on the other side of that door. Be a good lad and check it out for us."

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf wandered into the room after Argumentus. Swinging his hammer up onto his shoulder he glanced at the body as he passed it, calling out over his shoulder "Thin Lizzy, there's another body in here if you want to give it a good toe-ing." He grinned at his own joke and meandered towards the south of the room at an easy pace.

It seemed they were in the remnants of some keep. That didn't bode especially well for their predicament. This could be something as simple as a plague. The dwarf clutched to his holy icon a little tighter and said a quick prayer to Kord for protection as he approached the barrels and glanced around them for any sign of their contents.

How ya doing, buddy?

The Dwarf let a smile break over his features. Well, if anyone didn't have a full waterskin, this would keep them alive. He knew better than to get drunk on a quest like this, but it was good knowledge to have.

Traveling a few steps to the south, he gave the door a nice, sound listen. Trying to hear the tell-tale signs of activity on the other side as he glanced back towards the opposite side of the room to see what Slo-dan and his kinsman were up to.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The Dwarf pushed a finger to his lips and glowered at the people across the room. He went through a series of hand signals to indicate that there were potentially hostile people on the other side of the door, but seeing the large slope-brow attempting to figure out what shadow puppets he was making, he quietly made his way back towards them.

He spoke in a hushed voice as he pointed over his shoulder at the southern door. "There are creatures on the other side of the door, and they're not speaking any tongue I recognise. I don't believe we're apt to find anything friendly down here outside each other, so maybe someone..." he glanced at the large fighter pointedly "should go fetch the elf princess before we push through."

That being said, he moved towards the north door and gave that a good listen, as well.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The dwarf glanced over at his fellow dwarf and shrugged. "This one's quiet, at least." His voice was solid, but he glanced over at the door where he heard the sound of the fairy princess nimbly running away from the Big Slow.

He sharply clicked his tongue at the rogue to get his attention. "What say you, lad? I prefer the danger I know to that I don't. And I'll never turn down a chance to kill in the name of Kord. But I'm not the sole life at stake in this decision." He glanced longingly at the southern door, and its obvious passage to violence and glory for his god.

"So what say the three of you? Which door do we send the shuffling man-child through?"

I was speaking idiomatically.

Gabriel grinned at his kinsman. No Paladin, this one. Too logical. He thought too much. Still, a dwarf is a dwarf. "Do not worry, friend. I lead with shield and hammer. The man-child leads with fists and head. Your place need not be walking into blood and steel."

He glanced back at the room opposite, waiting for the elf to weigh in. Then he considered that for a long moment and glanced at the Rogue a few feet away from them. "Well, friend. Seems the decision is yours. Call it one for the way of silence and one for the way of battle. Decide."

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The Dwarf's eyes thinned as he growled under his breath. He looked over at the mage and sighed, hefting his hammer off his shoulder and glancing over at the other dwarf.

"What of it? I say we feed the daft bastard to the hungry one." He smirked a little and then frowned when the mage started yelling. Right, well, there goes the element of surprise. But surprise be damned. Kord didn't need surprise. Kord was the righteous hammer of vengeance to temper the world firm.

He looked over at the mage and frowned. "No doubt unfriendly company to the south. So I'm voting we go that way. There are rats to the north, and I don't like vermin." He was speaking in hushed tones and keeping his eyes peeled on the southern door, just in case the damned woman's screeching brought anyone through it. In point of fact, he moved to stand beside the door, on the side opposite where it would slam if swung open, and hefted his hammer in his hand.

If something was coming through that door, he was going to be ready to launch his hammer into space and crush something's chest in orbit. It's the only way to be sure.

FELIPE NO

The dwarf nodded Argumentus towards the door he was stationed at. If the human came close enough to catch a whispered word, he'd tell him they could pet whatever was on the other side of the door. With all of them in the room, finally, he would wait for Argumentus to become set before he looked to Steely Dan and glowered sharply once again. What people. This daft bastard was an elf.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The dwarf blinked at Argumentus, confused. And then it dawned on him that he was talking about rats. Well now, that's delightfully disturbing, that is. He considered telling the lumbering oaf a story about farms and rabbits to make him feel better. He had a cousin that was a bit slow. And that story always calmed him right down.

He did, however, not have the time for the farm and the rabbits.

"We're going into this room first, and as soon as we're done looking around here, you can go play in the puppy room, friend. I'll even go with you, all right?" He kept his voice as level and as quiet as he could as he continued to listen into the next room, trying to discern whether their disgusting racket had been noticed yet.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf glanced over his shoulder as the door splintered and broke off at a run towards the southern door and the fighter's position. He could smell the filth in the next room. Goblin. Good. Gooooooood. His hammer raised as he clutched Kord's holy symbol in his hand and raced towards the coming conflict.

Straight movement, to Gabriel's right and around the outside of the tables moving south.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf hefts his hammer and charges forward, for a moment he closes his eyes, focusing his will on the fury of Kord. Gritting his teeth he launches himself towards the Goblin, finding his footing near the door and in striking range of the vile creature. The warhammer sang as it flew through the air, a grim smile on the dwarf's face. He could feel the strength of the war god coursing through his strong limbs, guiding his strike and fueling the power behind it. He was one with the glory of his deity, a vessel for his righteous blows of vengeance.

The man-child had splintered the door, and now it was his turn to do the same to this lowly monster's spine. He was a Paladin of Kord, and his god craved the violence of battle.

Channel Divinity: Divine Strength
Move adjacent to Goblin, preferably not in LOS of door.
Swing for the fences with the warhammer.

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The dwarf roared in pain as the fire engulfed him. The flames blistered his skin, singed his beard and heated his armour. The moment it subsided he gasped hard for air, feeling the lingering damage to his flesh, and several blisters open into deep gashes on his body. But he was not to be felled so easy. No. He was Gabriel Sledgehammer. He was a Paladin of Kord. He was his god's chosen hand of vengeance. He was death incarnate. The eye of the storm. But that was not what saw him through the initial moments. He had flashes to his uncles berating him as a young dwarflet for staying down when he'd skinned his knee. No, goddamnit he was a dwarf. And that meant something.

Tightening his grip on his hammer he set his jaw and swung his weapon in a cruel arc at the creature, bellowing from beneath the singed hair of his beard. Instead of giving way to the rage that consumed him, he felt the warrior's calm drift over his body as his hammer whistled through the air. Kord was with him, guiding his hand. He may die this day, but not yet. Strength surged through his limbs as he finished his stroke, allowing the weapon's arc to pull him away from the creature.

Second Wind
Bolstering Strike
Shuffle back from the door

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The clatter of the cloud of blades falling to the ground stirred something deep inside the dwarf. The sound of steel on steel, memories of battles long forgotten by all but Kord himself. The sound of steel on stone. Thunderclaps of distant clouds in the memory of his DNA. The heat of battle was an orgy for Kord's followers, and he could smell the fear through the wall. The blood of a wounded foe. It called to him. His god called to him. Urged him forward. For a brief moment he held the holy symbol, a tiny sword on the end of a chain of stones, to his chest. He was still within the chaos, a moment before the clap of thunder exploded across the room.

The dwarf roared, taking off at a dead run as he moved around the corner, passing through the door way and breaking to his left. The Goblin would see a stocky dwarf, his beard burning like incense, embers falling from around his face as if it were made of charcoal. His eyes blazed with equal fury as his face contorted grotesquely, an almost melodramatic burst of noise that was more scream than words erupted from his mouth.

"KORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRD!"

The dwarf led with his shoulder, plowing bodily into the goblin and swinging his warhammer in a cruel upwards arc, as if he meant to knock the goblin's head clean off its shoulders like some form of plastic robot toy that would rock and sock each other were they invented. Which of course they weren't.

Lay hands: Self
Move to Goblin
Valiant Strike

I was speaking idiomatically.

The dwarf blinked, shocked the goblin was still alive, to be quite honest. And a little annoyed. The sheer audacity of not falling over dead was stunning. It was rude. Hell, it was -incredibly- rude. And that upset him. No. It made him angry. And this goblin wouldn't like him when he's angry.

Gabriel bristled, incredibly visibly since he was still glowing, his beard a river of ruby embers. He looked down at his armour, at the point where the spear had snapped like a useless twig.

"Alright... who wants some?" he began, almost a whisper. "Who's next, huh? How bout it?" Who wants some?" His voice got louder as he continued to talk. "Huh? Who wants to have a little?" He suddenly looked up, his eyes wide; wild. He raised his hammer and pointed directly at the goblin's chest. "You." He jabbed the air between them. "You want some more, huh? You want a little? Do ya?" He placed his shield to his ear, miming an attempt to hear better. "Hmm? YOU WANT SOME MORE? HUH?"

He pushed off with his back foot and slid across the divide between them, setting his feet with a war cry and viciously swung his hammer towards the sniveling creature's chest, meaning to cave it in.

Divine Challenge, Goblin.
Shuffle forward
Bolstering Strike

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf howled in anger as his hammer impacted the wall, sending chips flying in all directions. He slammed it into the ground in frustration and growled under his breath. "I did that on purpose. I didn't have to miss." He grinned slightly, embers around his lips sparking and glinting in the dim light. "I just want you to feel you're doing well. I hate for people to die embarrassed."

It was then that the dwarf noticed the slight chip in the head of his warhammer. Those crazed eyes again darting up to the creature.

"HALLO! MY NAME IS GABRIEL SLEDGEHAMMER. YOU CHIPPED MY HAMMER, PREPARE TO DIE!" He bellowed the words, swinging the hammer overhead and down in a cruel blow, aiming to crush the goblin's skull.

Bolstering Strike
Shuffle backwards

How ya doing, buddy?

The dwarf looked down at the fallen corpse of the Goblin, swinging his hammer up onto his shoulder as he looked at the Warlord that had suddenly swung out and ended the creature with the final blow. He grinned widely and clasped his kinsman on the shoulder and shook his frame slightly, speaking in the dwarven tongue.

"Well done, friend. Clearly he was some sort of master goblin. Chief among his people, I'm sure! Long will they drink ale and sing songs of the night the dwarven brothers killed Masterchief, Lord of the Goblins and God of the underlands."

He glanced around the room, shocked to see everyone still alive and relatively in one piece. He rubbed the head of his hammer against the back of his neck to scratch an itch and then used his shield to brush the last embers out of his beard. He seemed rejuvenated by the combat, as if the majority of his wounds had healed. Only a few small red patches of skin remaining to prove he was ever set alight.

"Well then, lads. Shall we return to the last room and let our taciturn friend pet some puppies? Or do we move along?"

He was quite chipper for a guy who was just set on fire and caught in nearly mortal danger.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The Paladin gaped openly as Argumentus downed the food. Maybe letting this man choose the next direction was not his finest idea to date. At any rate he cast the hammer across his shoulders and poked his toe at the goblin's fallen corpse, looking to see if he had anything interesting on him beyond simply being nigh invulnerable, apparently.

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