Research suggests men are clueless when it comes to women.

Originally Posted by Sian

Don't most men admit to being clueless when it comes to women anyway? o_O

No. Most men who are completely socially inept will say this. It's a way of making up for the fact they have no idea how to interact with people. "I'm bad with women because I don't understand them."

I've never had a problem understanding women. They're not all that different from men.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by AniMechanic

My mother once summed it up nicely:

"Boys are stupid, girls are crazy."

"Oh, is your Mommy a doctor?
A scientific researcher of some kind?
Well then she's hardly a credible expert, is she?"

Do you know why men and women don't communicate? Because for years mothers like yours have fucking LIED to them about there being these drastic differences between the sexes. There just isn't. You've been categorically tricked into believing you need to do something special to read the opposite gender, or read ridiculous books and watch shitty daytime TV to figure out what to do.

I'm going to let you in on the secret...

THERE IS NO FUCKING SECRET.

Talk to them like a normal fucking human being. Don't have your head up your ass. That's the trick. Crazy, isn't it? Now go away and stop being a douche bag. All of you.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Dark Nation

Men don't get the small clues given to them, and women don't give clear signs of their interest.

Yes they fucking DO. YOU just can't read them. A load of fucking internet virgins on a gaming website is not a suitable testing group for this subject. Why do you think those fucking meatheads you nerds all detest can pull skirts at will? Because they've learned the fucking game, haven't they? It's a skill. It's a skill just like any other goddamn skill. If you don't practice seduction and attraction, you'll fucking suck at it. Shin, Beaner and I are not the prettiest men on this site. We're rarely the prettiest men in a bloody room, but I'm getting the impression the three of us pull more than the rest of you lot combined. Why do you suppose that is? Maybe it's because we took the five bloody seconds it took to learn what to look for. How to make people aware we're interested.

You know, those generic traits a fucking APE has learned. If you can master how to play Donkey Kong Country, you can learn how to play a woman. Christ. Stop talking like you're in bloody elementary school. No, actually talk MORE like you're in elementary school. Pull someone's pigtails and call them stupid. At least then you might be on the right path for letting them know you're interested.

Originally Posted by DarkMageOzzie

Inspite of the fact that I've never gotten a date...

And that, right there, sums up the problems you lot have with women. You think -they're- the problem. They aren't. You just suck at this, because you're over thinking it. I have played councilor to semi-pros like Frank all the way down to weeaboo trolls like Ultima, and you know what? They've all been able to do fine. Why? Because they stop cramming their heads up their asses and take a moment to rationalize the bloody situation. You're terrified of women, you have no confidence and you clearly aren't aggressive personalities. Now why, I wonder, would women have a problem finding a proper way to flirt with you? Maybe because women don't like spineless fucking ponces. Show a little goddamn initiative. Smile, tell a fucking JOKE. FLIRT FOR GOD'S SAKES. Do it for fun. I do it all the time. I flirt with my roommate when I get up in the morning, I flirt with people I work with, I flirt with my friend's girlfriends. Why? So that when I meet a girl I honest to god want to plow, I can turn on the charm like it's second nature. Because after a while, it bloody well is.

I'm a fat, hairy ex-punk rocker, sarcastic, arrogant git. And I've been pulling women since I was 14. You have no fucking excuses. Any guy. ANY GUY can pull women way outside his "range". It's fucking laughably easy. That's the truth of it, isn't it? It's SIMPLE. You just have to get good at it. If you think you're good enough for them, or even better, if you think you're too good for them, chances are, they will too. Women like confidence. Men like confidence. If you don't act like a fucking berke, people will like you better. It's pretty simple.

I should sell fucking books on tape or something.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.