The Downside of Sex

Originally Posted by Vampiro

Sex equals emotional attachment.

Originally Posted by Vampiro

but it's because of the act that the emotional attachment was formed, and thus something to be shattered. If sex never occurred, chances are the break up wouldn't be quite as devastating.

No, it's because of intimacy. Sex isn't intimacy. Oftentimes the sheer acceptance that one would be willing to move to the next plateau of intimacy is enough to do the same damage as if it had actually happened.

Originally Posted by Vampiro

That doesn't even make sense.

Couldn't have said it better myself, mate. You clearly don't have anything except personal experience as a basis for your arguments. Have you ever studied human sexuality beyond a first year course or what your friends tell you? Because I'm willing to bet with the way you generalize and manage to miss pretty much all your targets, that you haven't.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Originally Posted by Vampiro

You're honestly telling me some women don't become emotionally attached when sex is first had? lol

Yes, I really am. I'm telling you that the concept of women becoming emotionally attached to sex is a fallacy. It's a cultural belief, and one that holds no real evidence. It's like saying women are more emotional. It isn't true, it's just that they're culturally pressured to express their emotions in a more public fashion. This is why using firsthand experience only doesn't work, mate. You're perpetuating a false stereotype because you've seen it since you were a kid. It doesn't make it true.

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Yes, and some teen girls mix sex with intimacy.

SOME.

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I'm guessing by generalize you mean the part where I'm talking about one case and the part when I mention a small portion of females, namely a group of teens? lol sorry i don't study human sexuality and rather use first-hand experiences. silly me.

Originally Posted by Vampiro

You're honestly telling me some women don't become emotionally attached when sex is first had? lol

You aren't talking about one case, you're talking about women. You put "some" infront of it to make your point less ridiculous, but it isn't really changing anything. Are some women emotionally attached after sex? Yes. Are they emotionally attached because of sex? No. Sex is purely physical thing, mate. The emotional attachment is a conscious thing that happens through intimacy. And you know why your first-hand experiences don't hold up? Because you don't understand them. You're seeing the pictures, but you aren't understanding what exists beyond them. You're being too simplistic about it, and it's making you come off like a know-it-all 12 year old.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Originally Posted by Vampiro

But it's cute how you're apparently dissecting my past relationships based on two or three sentences on a message board made by a poster you've probably never even noticed until this thread. I know exactly what happened in my past relationships and why they failed. I know exactly why my current one has succeeded without a single hitch too.

That would be a great point if I'd mentioned anything other than your approach to the topic of sex and intimacy. I haven't said word one about your relationships, nor do I care to know about them. I'm saying you're uninformed and using only word-of-mouth knowledge. Folk wisdom, as it were. That's it. So it's cute how you think you can read into what I've said.

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As for being an know-it-all 12 year-old, I've clearly said that I'm going on personal experiences. If I really wanted to be a know-it-all I'd search for studies and actually know the ins and outs of the subject like you apparently think you do.

The point being that the 12 year old feels he has a grasp of the subject because his friend told him about his older sister once. But if you want to use being uninformed as a defense, you go right ahead and do that. I'm sure it'll strengthen your case by leaps and bounds by stating you haven't bothered doing any research and only have personal opinion. You're embarassing yourself here, mate.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

Originally Posted by BigHairyFeet

So, just to clarify the terms involved in this debate, what type of intimacy are each of you talking about?

2.a close, familiar, and usually affectionate or loving personal relationship with another person or group.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

Wait, are you saying that your entire point is just that -some- people get emotionally attached after sex, be it due to cultural pressures or otherwise? Because if that's all you're saying, I'm not arguing with you. Though, for the record, a streotype doesn't apply to everyone. Just because the stereotype is false doesn't mean there aren't people who live up to its image. I'm not saying that my points are all encompassing, I'm saying that the sterotype you put forward isn't all consuming either, in fact, quite the opposite. That it is perpetuated by the media and by people spreading it on the internet, and through mediums like literature. I don't think people like that don't exist, I just think they're a much smaller part of the market than the world makes them out to be. You never proved me wrong because I never said this applied to everyone.

I was speaking idiomatically.

Originally Posted by Plainsman

PB and Spanglish, I think you're making a wise decision, and I've said the same thing to guys as well (not just girls). The reasons for having sex outside of marriage are superficial and transient compared to the damage that it can cause. When I was having sex as a youngin', even when I wanted to "please" whoever I was with, it was a selfish act that I wish I had had the self-control to refrain from.

And there are those of us on the faaaaar opposite side of that thar fence. There's nothing wrong with abstaining if you're not comfortabe with it, but don't be like some people and act like sex is this grand, life changing event. It really isn't.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?