[DnD] Welcome to the Dungeon of Doom!

Kord, why were all dwarves, except him, such grumpy bastards. I mean really, stop living up to the stereotypes.

Instead of sleeping, he decided to loot corpses and explore the room for signs of some cup thing or INVISIBLE DOORS TO WONDERFUL THINGS.

How ya doing, buddy?

The dwarf quickly picked up the skull on a stick and strapped it to his armoured back, so it looked over his shoulder and bounced around as an aide to Murray. He will call him Thomas. He also inspected the battleaxes to see if they were anything special. If not, he'll use one of them to sweep down his throwing hammer and stick it in his belt.

How ya doing, buddy?

As a Paladin, Gabriel was accustomed to hearing voices. This didn't upset him in the least.

"Anyone got any carrots?" He paused. "No? No carrots? All right."

He glanced around the room, this time looking for something he could use as a light source once the one in his beard ran out. "I'll have to get you carrots later, Thomas. Right now I need to find a light." He glanced over his shoulder. "S'alright?"

"S'alright."

Jam it back in, in the dark.

Having found the light he needed, he tipped Murray towards the mage and went wandering around the corner, finally settling down on the opposite side of the fire from the mage and catching some much needed rest.

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf woke up, struck another sunrod and braided it into his beard. Adjusted Thomas and Murray, and then set off up the ladder to take a look down that hallway, glancing around the wall rather than stepping in front of it.

How ya doing, buddy?

The dwarf decided he'd be best not wandering down that pathway alone, so he joined the pack to discover the new room.

"Oh look. Huge scorched floor. I'm sure this'll be wicked safe."

He then saw the sack, and pulled a small, empty bag from his pocket and filled it with small pebbles as he stared at the sack from across the room. He allowed a few pebbles to drift from his hand, gauging the weight. Adjusting Murray, he then stealthily crossed the room and reached out slowly to...



Inspect the thing for traps, without ever touching it, because he isn't stupid.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The dwarf took a deep breath and grumbled under his breath. "Dwarf - 1. Wall - 0."

Healing Surge

Noting he felt better, and that not one of his fellows was doing a GODDAMN THING, he marched right up to the pedestal, glared into the boxes to show them ghosts that he wore dead things like a hat and used them like a back scratcher, then replaced the pretty bag with his ugly one filled with stones.

I was speaking idiomatically.

"Sweet. A dog."

The dwarf set the figurine, still in the sack, on his belt.

He'd always wanted a dog.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf, though amused by the booming voice, decided to head towards the stairwell, yawning away the last vestiges of sleep from the corners of his perception.

"Right then. Onwards, upwards, and away from the Frost Giant, then?"

FELIPE NO

The dwarf flipped the little packet of rocks to Argumentus, so he could throw that too, and then started down the stairs, adjusting his skulls and his dog. One had to accessorize.

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

The dwarf was already halfway back up the stairs by the time that question was answered. He did NOT sign on for dragon slayage. Also, if he was gonna fight a dragon, he was NOT going to get pincer attacked by some fucking blind and dumb goblins.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf sidled up to the southern enemy soggy had gone after and promptly buried his axe into the creature's waist. Just to be a dick.

Divine Strength
Radiant Smite

There's nowhere I can't reach.

The dwarf simply unleashed a pleasant strike on the already bloodied enemy.

Bolstering Strike on gobbylin.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf growled at the still healthy goblin and then lit into the bloodied one with a frustrated sigh.

"Just... Just die already. Christ."

valiant strike

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The dwarf took a deep breath to steel himself and took off at a dead run for the ladder, looking to climb and then cut him some archers.

Dwarven second wind
Bolstering strike on archer.

Most amazing jew boots

The dwarf tried yet again to manipulate the ladder, the dwarf took a moment to grip his holy symbol tighter and feel healing surge through his stout limbs.

If he made the ladder, he would charge at the nearest archer, laying into him with bolstering strike.

charge, lay hands heal, murderize

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf smiled widely as gore splattered across his face. Truly Murray's past life as a circus acrobat came in handy.

FELIPE NO

The dwarf motioned with his shield at the goblin behind the one he currently faced, the skull on his head bouncing pleasantly.

"Right. That's another arrow you've shot at me. When I'm done wif 'im, you're next."

And with that he sank his axe back into the goblin, growling all the while and loving how awesome he must have looked hopping up the ladder.

Bolstering Strike on Gobbler, divine challenge on Gobbler behind him

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

Gabriel shook Thomas menacingly at the archer and then buried his axe in his shoulder. Also menacingly.

Bolstering Strike

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The dwarf took a moment to glower at the archer.

"You pricks keep a -dragon-. Do you have any idea how completely unsafe that is!?"

He growled low in his throat and sank the axe into him again while muttering about the lack of respect in goblins today.

bolstering strike

There's nowhere I can't reach.

Gabriel laughed as the goblin fled. He was on the ground, so if he decided to be a further problem, he'd be easily dealt with. He hopped off the little shelf himself and made for the area directly at the head of the middle bed at the south of the room. He stopped and reached down to his belt, pulling out the small onyx dog statue and setting it on the ground next to him.

Of course he'd heard the dog speaking to him all along, but now it was actually there.

"Yes, Goliath. I know. Mine is the sword of Michael. Now sick 'im."


Move above middle bed.
Summon Black Mastiff. Spend healing surge to increase his HP.
Dog chases after Goblin and tries to eat him. Yay for high movement.

This thing is sticky, and I don't like it. I don't appreciate it.

The dwarf grinned as his dog tore after the goblin, doing the same towards the dragon, himself. Turning the corner he roared, leaping through the air, his skulls bouncing hap-hazardly, "PINATA!"

And with that he laid into the prone dragon with a mighty strike, pausing to whistle loudly, attracting the attention of Goliath, before he took a deep breath and then swung at the monstrosity again while whistling a happy woodcutters tune. Something about a logdriver's waltz. He didn't know how he knew it. Maybe Murray knew it.

Move to dragon
Paladin's Judgment on dragon.
Move Goliath halfway towards dragon, to defend in case goblin returns.
Action Point.
Bolstering strike on dragon.

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

The dwarf smirked as his blow rang true. He clasped the large human on the back and shouted over the sound of a FALLING FUCKING WALL to Mots.

"KORD FAVOURS THE BOLD, SLOW HUMAN AND TINY DWARF HERCULES. CLEARLY WE ARE HIS CHOSEN FEW. THEY WILL SING SONGS AND DRINK WINE WHILE THEY TELL THIS STORY TO OUR GRANDCHILDREN'S GRANDCHILDREN. ESPECIALLY OF HOW THE MIGHTY WHATS-HIS-FACE BROUGHT DOWN THE WALLS ON THE DRAGON, JUST LIKE JERICHO IF THE BIBLE EXISTED WHICH IT DOESN'T BECAUSE GYGAX HAS BUT ONE GOD AND IT IS THE DM'S MANUAL." He stated, breaking the fourth wall as long as we're busy taking down masonry anyway.

Healing surge from paladin's judgment goes to Mots.

How ya doing, buddy?

The dwarf blinked as the dragon stood up and got all big. Much more intimidating this way than the last way. He whistled for his dog as he unleashed a violent strike with his axe, aiming for the dragon's slimy underbelly as his hound took up his place next to brigid and snapped at the thing's toe.

Bolstering strike
Goliath takes his place and attacks.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

The dwarf grabbed a hundred gp for himself, tossed a piece of dragon meat to his dog before it disappeared, and then took a moment to realise what they'd done. He thought of long diatribes about Kord's will and the greatness of their quest.

He decided to settle.

"We are fucking AWESOME."

FELIPE NO