Sperglords

Some people are passionate about a hobby of theirs. Some people are collectors, trying to own everything related to a hobby or artist.

Some people are sperglords, intent on spunking all over the Internet with massive amounts of completely irrelevant information. This is where we laugh at them.

To start, let's play a game of Guess What Song Wikipedia Sperglords Are Describing!

Quote:

The song begins with a distinctly Vivaldian style, as the fast tempo and classical-style chord progression anticipates the lyrics to follow. The opening chords and the melody emphasize the tonic of the leading notes: Fm–E♭–D♭–Cm–D♭–E♭–Fm–D♭–E♭–Fm, resembling a Baroque work. This is followed by the sound of dance music, produced by a powerful beat from the instruments.

Spoiler:

Papa Don't Preach by Madonna

Quote:

<song> is an uptempo dance-pop song, and follows the footsteps of the previous single <other song>. Whereas <other song> was predominately electropop, <song> carries a dark sound with clear vocals on the chorus and a pop hook while combining the synths from <other song> and the more dance-oriented beat of the next single <yet another song>. According to Kerri Mason of Billboard, the composition "carr[ies] the pleather-and-sequins vibe of the downtown New York scene out of the underground and onto the FM dial without losing its smut and sass." The song is set in common time with a moderate tempo of 120 beats per minute and is written in the key of G-sharp minor. <artist>'s vocal range spans from F♯3 to B4. It begins with a medium tempo followed by electronic chord arrangement and the "Mum-mum-mum-mah" hook. The chords follow in this order, G♯m—E—F♯—G♯m—E—F♯.[12] This is followed by the sound of dance music, produced by a powerful beat from the instruments and a stuttering hook following the chorus.

Spoiler:

"Poker Face" by Lady Gaga

I am relatively confident that even though I am very annoyed/disgusted by the amount of shit people are willing to write on Wikipedia, I'm confident the rest of you know of even bigger examples of oversharing on the Internet.

Oh here we go, how about A detailed list of all the things that happened to Captain Archer's dog Porthos on Enterprise, complete with this explanation of his eating habits

Quote:

Captain Archer would regularly provide Porthos with dog food. This was stored in foil-wrapped packets that Archer poured into a bowl and gave to the dog. Porthos whimpered and complained to the captain if he missed any of his meals. The dog was fond of cheese, although it occasionally caused him to visit Dr. Phlox (in sickbay) for gastrointestinal distress.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

The thing is, Worm, there's a certain level of detail that Wikipedia is intended to have, and these paragraphs are WAY beyond the scope of "general overview of something" and into "obsessive fanwank by people with too much time on their hands".

There's nowhere I can't reach.