HAY GUYS

value tart · May 31, 2009, 11:57 PM

It was Nintendo last year AND the year before

Here's hoping they pull something AMAZING out of the ether this time.

It won't happen.

Reggie could walk outside and give that annoying snowboard bitch from last year's conference a quick facial, take a dump on the stage and then eat it while fingering an audience member's asshole with a hot glue gun, and the Wii will still sell 9,000 million units and Wii Sports 2: This Time With Frisbees will make more money than the GDP of Europe.

Jam it back in, in the dark.

value tart · Jun 1, 2009, 12:49 AM

But, but!

They tried E3 without the expensive spectacle part, and suddenly 100% of customers didn't care!

This way, game nerds can be hypocritical all over again when they deride people for being all "celebrity obsessed". "Why do you care what Brad and Angelina do? They're so unimportant and overrated. Oh, I just remembered, I need to check CliffyB's Twitter and Major Nelson's Squawkle accounts!"

There's nowhere I can't reach.

value tart · Jun 1, 2009, 01:46 AM

Originally Posted by Infernal Monkey

- Blast Corps 2: Time To Get Fantastico for 360. Limited edition includes lifesize model of Thunderfist.

DON'T JOKE ABOUT SUCH THINGS

YOU COLDHEARTED BASTARD

How ya doing, buddy?

value tart · Jun 1, 2009, 02:45 PM

I am a dolphin, do you want me on your body?

value tart · Jun 1, 2009, 03:25 PM

So they had time to tell us about Facebook and Twitter, but not that they're bringing a full 360 game on demand download service later this year that won't even require MSP?

Fuck you, whoever slated that conference.

I was speaking idiomatically.

value tart · Jun 2, 2009, 01:48 PM

The cool part about this is watching Miles be completely oblivious to how his comments about "Nintendo needs to support the hardcore gamers" have fallen completely by the wayside after a whopping four games in the next year get announced.

Do you want to know why they don't make more, Miles?

It's because you're already content with four after foaming at the mouth just a few hours ago.

Say what you will about Nintendo, but they fucking know their audience.

What kind of toxic man-thing is happening now?

value tart · Jun 2, 2009, 02:42 PM

Originally Posted by Luxray

Final Fantasy XIV.

Sony had the whole E3 conference for ONE minute. When they said "Online" they lost it. They lost it all.

So announcing the sequel to the sequel that hasn't come out yet is somehow cool news before they announce it's an MMO?

FELIPE NO

value tart · Jun 3, 2009, 12:03 AM

You're the first one, what a surprise that is

What, you don't want my bikini-clad body?

value tart · Jun 3, 2009, 12:19 AM

A ham sandwich that has been dropped into the sand pit is at least somewhat edible, Infernal.

I fear that we are not dealing with a ham sandwich...

but a turkey sandwich.

Jam it back in, in the dark.