To AOL: "No means no"

Ugh, I feel all your pain. My parents used AOL for something like 10 years (even going through two accounts because I was a total fuckwad in my younger years and violated the TOS too many times), and every time I told them "Dude, AOL sucks ass. We need a different service," they'd say, "Oh, it's fine."

"No, it's not. It's a terrible browser with shitty speeds and gigantic bloat, and on top of that it's more expensive than other alternatives."
"Those other alternatives don't have multiple e-mail accounts."
"A) Lots of alternatives do, and b) if they don't, we can set up our own over the web."
"Parental controls."
"OTHER SERVICES OFFER THE SAME THING AS AOL FOR LESS. HOW CAN YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THIS."
"Well, we'll just stick with it anyway 'cause we don't wanna go through the hassle."

Repeat this conversation about 10 times through a period of 2 years or so.

Finally, when we moved to Seattle, we cancelled the account (even though we didn't need to use it any more because we had gotten Time Warner cable, and didn't need AOL's browser to use the internet)... and we went through the EXACT SAME THING that everybody else has. My dad spent a good 4-5 minutes telling the rep, "NO. I DO NOT WANT FREE MONTHS. I DO NOT USE AOL ANY MORE AND WOULD LIKE TO CANCEL NOW," before it got through his head. When he hung up, he took one look at us, and said, "God DAMN, that guy was annoying."

Jam it back in, in the dark.