Looking for a job

I got a job, today. Hired on the spot. Knocked 'em dead. They told me that they appreciate my calm and collected nature. I'll admit I was tactful. Being hung over really helped. You see, my gaze pierced anything it touched, so I appeared to be deadly interested in the speaker. I had a headache so I didn't speak unless spoken to and my responses were direct and focused. I didn't go on any tangents, ask any annoying questions or seem too enthusiastic. Trying to sound interested is a clumsy endeavor. Simply look the part and tell them what they want to know. They'll take you more seriously. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a bong to load.

Jam it back in, in the dark.